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Finger Muddies

wrapped in  my sari
A face painted with lipstick
smiling little angel
knocked on my door
and said
Ma…. model
that of course she was
I looked at her and smiled 
and told her you are the best
she giggled,pointed at my face and said
liptip (lipstick)
and we both looked super hot
on that beautiful mischievous afternoon
Bonita

Bonita holi colours(left) and lipstick all over her face(right)

and then one afternoon she came all proud
grass in her hair
fingers dipped specially in mud
which she called finger muddies
toes brown green grunge
covered in  grass and mud pack
and she said
mummy look
i painted earth on my frock
i hugged my daughter and said
aint this the best painting in the world :)
and she said i can paint this on you too
i have more
and i smiled and said
really i cant wait to see
what’s in store
oh the earth print on both of us
scared the neighbours
earned some frowns
and some cute little giggles
such are my afternoon delights
[This poem is about my daughter (BONITA)when she was a little kid and the fun crazy afternoons we used to have. There are things only a mom and daughter share, what a blessing it is to have a daughter]
Today-April 2nd is Autism Awareness day. I was brainstorming how to reach to other parents and then got an idea from my friend Autumns’s todays post, where she wrote about how time flies and our little angels grow up and before we can say a proper bye they are far away from the nest.
And then wrote the above poem on all the fun afternoons we used to have :)
I remembered the early days when we were struggling to break the barrier between us and our daughter. She didn’t speak properly ..that is in sentences or understood small instructions till she was 8-9. Early on we realised we were doing it all wrong and instead of books started listening to our hearts.
We were trying to teach our daughter our ways without understanding or knowing where she was……that is when the whole journey of autism,understanding,playing and creating new exciting possibilities, customising instructions to make it easy and fun for our daughter began.
If you have read one of my posts Zuckles,Zonita zand Zee you will know We( Bonita and me) are two crazy people growing up and learning the skills to live in this insane world and so far we have done pretty good job. :)
I am no “Guru” on Autism but would definitely like to share one thing i have learnt in all these years…know your child and become one if needed and see how easy parenting becomes. It is important to instill good values in your child through your work and words.
It is important to teach discipline too but do you really know the PERSON you are trying to mould or discipline??
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About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

97 responses »

  1. Soma, what a lovely job you have done to increase autism awareness. The love you express for your children is heartwarming and inspirational. I love the part about “knowing your children.” Keep up the great work!

    Reply
  2. Lovely Lady, hope and a smile will bring you a lot of cheer! You express well and that gets most of the stress away. Good luck and God bless!
    ~Aparna
    http://midnighthues.wordpress.com

    Reply
  3. Wishing you peace, love and happiness at Easter and always.

    Reply
  4. A WORD HUG FOR EASTER ……….. XOXOXO
    http://rgraf.hubpages.com/slide/DoveFacts/792418
    DOVE OF PEACE :)
    RISE RISE RISE XOXO
    XXCAT

    Reply
  5. As lovely…as warm…as beautiful…and as wonderful as ever…!!
    I’ve been terribly busy with work…I am so sad I read this so late. :(
    But I am glad I did!!
    You are absolutely right about, ”do you really know the PERSON you are trying to mould or discipline??” All of us want to live free lives, and when it comes to children they deserve it too…who are we to take it away from them?
    It is amazing that you come up with all realities and truths of life on such light notes…and strike a chord in the heart!
    Every time I read a post by you, somehow I can feel a breeze of freshness running through me…like there is some kind of light that shows me the rosy colors of life amidst all the darkness that is there. As optimistic as I am, your writing and experiences nudge my positive thinking a little more. Thank you for writing, Soma!!
    You and Bonita are so adorable!
    Keep having fun….and may God bless Bonita and you with more of lovely memories like these.
    Loads of love to two cuties:)

    Reply
  6. awwwwww……remeember soma…..how is used to cuddle my baby bonitaa…..gunugunugunaaa……..ummaaahhhhh

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  7. your little daughter is adorable! and what a lovely post it is!

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  8. touched reading about your daughter! God bless her!

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  9. This is really inspiring to read, Soma – Thank you for posting for all to see! :D x

    Reply
  10. Aww Soma, it always warms my heart to read your posts about your daughter. You are such an amazing Mum and you have a beautiful daughter. I applaud you for bringing about awareness of Autism. Keep up the great posts. Love & hugs xox

    Reply
  11. “…such are my afternoon delights…”

    Children are so delightful and you captured these innocuous activities so well. Brings back memories for me.

    Thank you Soma.

    Reply
  12. I think that your perspective on Autism has seen you adapt and excel with your daughter, and through the merging of your two worlds if I may say that? You have grown together with an in depth realness between mother and daughter and this is such a wonderful accomplishment, building blocks turning pages and realising each other’s needs collectively understanding the wants and fulfilling everything with a perfection called motherhood.

    I applaud you on your magnificent journey and a life that is so beautifully moulded around your sweet child, the loving memories that have gathered and blossomed, nurturing your daughter and being at one with everything around you as the learning curves brought you closer and closer together and the bond of such a connection can never be broken. A very heart warming story my great friend and how very sweet of you to share this reality with us all, and you know the journey is just beginning…

    Have a very nice Wednesday Soma and be good, if you like I mean? :) ;)

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
    • What a beautiful heart warming comment…see we the vampires do some good things too :lol:
      Thanks Andro for that sweet comment but good and me..what is that ;)
      Big bear hug :)

      Reply
      • Hey Soma you are always very good
        when you are not being so wicked ;) :)

        Have a lovely rest of
        evening my great friend :)

        Oh yes and thank you for the
        Big Bear Hug, almost crushed
        my rib cage with that one :)

        Androgoth XXx

        Reply
  13. All these comments. My goodness. I already commented. Your daughter is so lovely! Here is a link with you in it. :) Sam
    http://aspergersgirls.wordpress.com/awards-blogs/

    Reply
  14. monica rishi

    beautifull…..such a pure heart n love so innocent…..:)

    Reply
  15. Soma beautiful poem, twoja córka dostała od ciebie to miałaś najpiękniejszego w sobie ciebie całą,to bardzo dużo………very nice day Soma ;-)

    Reply
  16. Big Bugs bo Bonita.. Bi bhink be band ber bould bave bad bo buch bun bif bi bere ba bid boo.. thanks for sharing this awesome poem Som..

    You have single handedly created more awareness to people than publlicizeed event.. Best of it all, your teachings are free..

    Bonita is super lucky to have you and you are blessed to have her. Me, I am just super happy that someone else is also playing in the mud :D

    Reply
    • Banks Bito Bou are bery bind band benerous
      But bes blaying bin bud bis fun
      maybe we shoud have an anual finger muddies like holi…in rainy season or summer when it becomes a must to play in water everyday ;)
      Thanks Tito :)

      Reply
  17. Oh that was such a beautiful poem, Soma! You are as blessed to have Bonita for a daughter as she is to have you for a mother :). Hugs to both you!

    “…know your child and become one if needed..” concur!

    Reply
  18. Very lovely poem,it made me cry don’t know why. You are right when you say “It is important to teach discipline too but do you really know the PERSON you are trying to mould or discipline??”

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  19. Blood-Ink-Diary

    Somi ! I am finally catching up on your blog (was travellng!), what a beautiful poem! Hurrah for Autism Day. Your post is inspiring, significant and proactive. Needless to say, am so proud of you sis — and a BIG thumbs up and loads of hugs to Nita from her maasi ! Keep penning, it is showing a lovely soul. X

    Reply
  20. Soma…this is just beautiful and precious. Your daughter’s words and smile light the world. You are blessed, as is she… ~ angela

    Reply
  21. What a beautiful poem Soma! You are an awesome Mom and Bonita is a sweetheart, you are each other’s blessings! :)

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  22. Very, very wonderful reminder that we must know the person inside the body labeled as “autistic”, mustn’t we? Our oldest niece living nearby is autistic, with other complications of birth defects, as well. My husband is so very good at seeing the person inside this autistic child! Hooray. I strive to learn and love more all the time. Your post here with this wonderfully playful poem about playtimes with your daughter is SUCH a help, such a worthy contribution to World Autism Awareness Day!

    Reply
    • Your neice is not just being blessed with being unique but also with loving caring people like your husband and you….thats all it takes really..a loving heart,a helping hand and a soul really cares and understands….
      Thanks Granbee although from your posts I do know you are a very warm,cheerful and kind person but what you shared today just reinstated my faith in love and angels.
      hugs :)

      Reply
  23. Pure love! Such a beauty radiates from that poem. How wonderful your bond and your ability to let her be and celebrate her world. Blessings ~ Sam :)

    Reply
  24. As the above comment : This is life.

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  25. This is simply adorable! A magical moment. Thank you for sharing!

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  26. This Post completes you as a whole…All my love for you and Bonita! She is an extremely special and a lucky girl! :-)

    Lots of love and hugs to both of you…

    -Astha

    Reply
    • Astha trust me we are way more lucky than her..if she was not what she is we would have been boring parents just cribbing and whining about everything and taking little notice of the gifts
      she made us what we are today..
      Thank you so much for that hearwarming word hug
      love ya
      have a great day :)

      Reply
  27. Soma, you are such a special person. You’re a great friend to me…the best. And you are the most wonderful mom. I love how you played with her in the mud. I can’t think of any mom that has ever taken the time to do all the things you do for Bonita. She is a very blessed little girl.
    http://i737.photobucket.com/albums/xx12/mrsmra/Awards/mom23.jpg
    Love and hugs to both of you!
    xx

    Reply
    • Deb trust me i was not this fun person before i had Bonita..i was crazy but not this creative and used to run miles away at the very sight of a kid…
      and then the miracle happned..i dont know what i did to deserve all this happiness..but my life just changed so much…all the fun and love thank God for Bonita in my life she really did rescue me
      What a lovely award Deb big beary hugs to you am going to put this in my widget right now this is so special and lovely
      Thank you so muc you are a sweetheart
      love and hugs :)

      Reply
      • Having kids have a way of changing us. But you are the best mommy there is…You deserve this award more than anyone I’ve ever known. Bonita is a very blessed little girl. God picked you out special to be her mommy. He knew you were the right one to love her as you do!
        He also knew you’d be the sweetest friend to me…so He brought us together.
        Love ya, Hugs, xx

        Reply
  28. I loved everything about this posting. The poem, the sentiment, the pictures and your heartfelt message. I hope you have a very blessed day this and everyday.

    Reply
  29. Soma, this post just shows what a caring and loving Mom you are to Bonita; she is beautiful and fortunate to have you as her mother…time does fly and I love looking back and recalling those precious moments, too. Hugs and blessings to you who just lit up my day! xo

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  30. How true, Soma. I believe this to be true for every child. They are people, unique in their gifts and personalities, with as much to teach as they have to learn. We are all that way, no matter our age or or situation.

    You have a lovely week :-)

    Reply
    • true every word you wrote…if we listen and are willing to communicate with open mind without the ego or who came on earth first thing going on…we really can have so much fun while teaching them and in return learn too..
      Hugs have a beautiful fun week :)

      Reply
  31. beautiful poet soma, love it.. ;-)

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  32. Beautiful piece. i loved it :)

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  33. Every time I come here to read your post, I always find something interesting…..
    this was a heartfelt one…and may you both continue this journey together, insanely and happily, :)……and the last question you phrase out is really to think about…we have to understand that more…

    and Soma, may be you can cut a cake today and share this beautiful, “world autism awareness day” with your lovely daughter……and do send some leftovers to the bloggers…..lol…..:)

    you are such a lovely mother……
    much love and peace, :)

    Reply
    • Pawan I am so blessed not just to have a beautiful loving daughter but also to have such great warm people like you around. this is what keeps me going….you are such a sweetheart
      thanks for this beautiful comment
      have a wonderful day :)

      Reply
  34. A wonderful, creative and very touching post, Soma. There should be more people like you around to ‘light up’ the world.

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  35. i remember reading this novel by Nicholas sparks “the rescue”…….the mother in there and the mother in here sound so similar….. Bonita is one lucky girl. :-)

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  36. Hi,
    Such a beautiful poem about the fun you and your daughter had, very nice. :)

    Reply
  37. I’m so glad my blog inspired you, Soma :) This is just so well written and Bonita is beautiful as always, what great photos !!!! This touched my heart because I know the feeling and the looking back. Time does fly :) give Bonita a hug from me and tell her she is a beauty :)

    Reply
    • You always inspire me a lot Autumn and after reading your post today i had to write this…thank you so much for encouraging and inspiring others
      you are a sweet heart
      love n hugs :)

      Reply
  38. This is touching, gently handled. I wish you ladies the best in the coming time!

    I couldn’t agree more with you on the last line.

    As an aside, I think we tend to somewhat overestimate our capacity to know people close to us (‘I ‘know’ him/her..). This ‘knowing’ has always made me a touch uncomfortable, for I find it always found it very difficult to drum up similar conviction in stating the same about someone else.

    Best always!

    Reply
    • I get you and I dont think we can ever really know someone…..its just when we live together with our parents,or spouse or kids the least we can do is try and understand where they are coming from..in understanding each other this “knowing” i wrote about lies……
      Thank you so much :)

      Reply
  39. BEAUTIFUL ……….
    BLESSINGS AND LOVE
    XOXOXOXO
    BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HUGS TO YOU TODAY AND EVERYDAY .
    CAT XO

    Reply
  40. This is what life’s about. Wonderful! :)

    Reply

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