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In the town of shakeyobum

lives a very lazy man named Tom Tum.

Lazy lazy lazy he is from head to toe

Crazy Crazy this lazy man with no friend or foe

Not that he had a lazy Dad or Mom

or was hit by a lazy bomb

or was this lazy from day one

or has being playing lazy just for fun,

he once have a very active life style

would get up early, do yoga and run for miles

But one night he was tired and late to sleep

and next day irritated by the clock’s beep

he cursed and broke the alarm clock

and after that never got up

This Thanksgiving I went to his town

and asked everyone The Smiths,The fells and The Browns

and all those who once knew him well

Julie, Robbins, Gilbert, Tim and Bell

pointed at his house and said

look at that creepy house dirty yellow with a broken gate,

There lives our ex-friend The very lazy Tom

who wont move even if attacked by the devil Zomzom.

Thinklepom, Crazycrom, Pimplehom,Jabberbom

who is this devil Zomzom ?

What if Zomzom is a dinosaur, the most dangerous one at that

or cats with bad temper who treat every lazy guy like a fish or a rat

or a crocodile or an alligator or may be a bear who is also a vampire

or a dragon who drinks lazy shakes,spews venom and breathes fire

that will be so much fun don’t you think so

a lazy guy being chased by a zombie crow

Trickipom, Sobberchomp, Maniacom or Flabbernom

Zomzom is coming, let’s  pray for the poor lazy Tom

 STORY AND CARTOON-©  SOMKRITYA

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

THE NEWS JUST IN

MY FRIEND STUART ART from Change Your Life  just reported-

Poor poor lazy Tom Tum,

was in the night bit by an IdleGlum.

It was not he that chose to slouch,

around his house and on the couch.

Twas the IdleGlum’s bite that made him that way,

and that’s why he’s lazy right up to this day.

Poor poor Tom Tum.

&

THEN THE ANGRY MAN SAID-

Fear not my love for poor Tom Tum.

His soul he gave to Idleglum.

So day by day his head would say,

“I think I’ll yet be lazy today”.

And if the time for work may come;

I’ll tell the truth of old Tom Tum.

He doesn’t cry and would not whine; just lays about

and plays about and prays while on his bum.

For Idle Tom; The Old Tom Tum  has seen the heart of Idleglum

and knows that though he would be free; and live a life of use;

He needn’t worry overmuch or fret about excuse;

For Idleglum when once he bites;

Sets no man free till death; his night.

The Juggler Smuggler

If you are smuggling hash you have already proven your stupidity try not to add anything to it.

[The Juggler Smuggler, an episode from National Geographic Banged up abroad chronicles Mark Greening, who enjoys a comfortable life in Bali, as a magician.  upon discovering he is a father to be, he feels a need to seek out quick cash for his looming obligations. He agrees to smuggle a kilo of hash from Nepal in a pellet form that he swallows.  As an experienced magician he quickly masters the task.  Having made approximately $80,000 from such drug smuggling, he makes an ill-fated trip to  Nepal. Temporarily ill and unable to swallow the pellets this time, he takes a risk and body-packs the hash.  He gets busted in Tokyo, Japan where he was unable to pass through enhanced airport security for the soccer World Cup.]

~ National Geographic

Juggler smuggler was a man of faith, he believed in lot of good things, like hash, like visiting fortune-teller before every hash/Nepal trip, seeking blessings from the hotel owner in form of ash Tikka ( a mark worn on forehead) before returning Japan with hash pellets in stomach.

you would wonder how and why would a man of such strong beliefs get busted the fifth time he tries smuggling.

Well today is your lucky day as I saw this programme twice and  noted down the dont’s of the trade( which are more important if you dream of being a smuggler) Lets see what happened in that trip which now is known as “when luck kicks your ass trip”

1) When he went to know his fortune before the fifth trip but  could not find that fortune-teller, she didn’t turn up that day.

2) The golden rule of smuggling hash is never body pack hash  so our hero used to make small pellets of hash and swallow them and then come back and take them out via the anal route but on that ill-fated trip he had diarrhoea. He tried,  gave it an honest try but could not swallow the pellets and hence body packed them.

3) The Juggler smuggler used to stay in the same hotel every time and when he would check out the hotel owner would give him an ash tikka on his forehead as a sign of blessings of gods but this time the hotel owner was not there.

4) It was world cup football In japan and hence the airport security was tight they were checking every thing and that he has kept hash in a bag and hid it in back pocket of his trouser…..

5) He had half of the hash in the juggling balls which the custom officials didn’t know about, but he told them that later to get in good books only to know later the sentence was based on Quantity of hash….. yikes

See my forehead, no ash tikka, no blessings
Hindu Gods aint that co-operative

Told them I have more Hash in the juggling balls and they increased my sentence—- Japanese I tell you
hilarious ROFL ha ha ha

Moral of the story-( for the aspiring smugglers only)

1) Never show magic tricks to the custom officials when caught for hash smuggling,that is one-act you wont be rewarded for

2) When giving an interview in for the television later don’t try act funny cos it ain’t an audition for stand up comedian.

 and oh  Never forget even for a second that in the list of do’s and don’ts YOU are a DON’T.

when in dream don’t meow,woof or say that thing

[ warning :This is an extremely silly post just like the previous ones ,but i now care about you and hence this warning, so if you are allergic to silly and/or have a history of being in fully self aware state, kindly take a can full of chocolates before you start reading this, and if you are allergic to chocolates too,oh man that would be real bad ]

Let me start this story post by telling you something about dreaming. One has to be careful, very careful about what you say in your dreams. sometimes you say something which may seem perfectly fine and next thing you know the cannabala tribes are boiling you in a huge pot making a stew or you are being chased by huge mammoths and dinosaurs ..oh man! that is not good.

There are hundred things you should avoid doing and a thousand things you should not say but the thing which starts with ‘rat’ is absolutely a big no-no if you happen to be in a jungle in your dreams

want to know why..well ok this why

 when my daughter was 7

we were having a very serious bedtime discussion about animal talk

and  i said moo says the cow i want a hat

and meow said the cat i wish cheese didn’t have so much fat

i am here  croaked a frog in the bog

i know hissed a snake hiding under a log

my daughter said what if they said things that rhymed with their name

i thought wow that would be some game

sure why not i said  we will play that game next time

and both of us fell asleep

♣ what happened after that ♣

i was in a jungle

somewhere in antarctica

there i met a flying octopus who told me

this story

about this one time

when a cat said- lets us just say things

that rhymes with our names

and everyone else agreed

so  the cat said rat a tat a tat

 rat said rat a tat a tat

 bat said rat a tat a tat too 

so did the duck-billed platypus

well he said his body was flat ,

and he didn’t want to say cuss fuss bus

and then for some reason every animal

found it cool and soon it became fashion to say

rat a tat a tat

and just to say that and be in fashion

they claimed they too had some flat body part

or an ancestor that was flat

or a name that was flat if you read it

on a  lot of homework day

So the elephant said its ear was flat

zebra said its stripes were flat

crocodile said flat was his laugh

except for hyena

who could not find anything

but 10 days later came up with an reason to say

rat a tat a tat

and he said his thoughts were flat

and every animal for the next one year just said

rat a tat a tat

but after a year they all got bored

and that was that

and now they hate it so much

that they run after anyone who says

rat a tat a tat

♠♠

so next time you go to a jungle

say what ever you want to

just not that which starts with rat.

That’s it,  now go to sleep

and remember, no matter what happens in dream

do not say that phrase that ends with a tat.

i hope it helps.

©Somkritya