Horn OK Please, cos Honking is fun!

Posted on April 12, 2013 by Soma Mukherjee under Insane Zone, My Poetry, Tribute

Today is HONK COS YOU ARE COOL DAY. If you are someone who is in love with their car ( or truck or whatever) horns, who loves to keep honking no matter what the situation is, this is the day for you.

HOW TO CELEBRATE THIS DAY?

Go out honk your town in pain red, get your vehicle fitted with the latest loudest Air horn this world has ever heard of, but don’t just stop there, honk like there is no tomorrow or existence of the entire human race depends on how loud you can be on roads. In short be a -

HONKIS BONKIS HONKA DONKA HONKING ZUDE

[Zude = Dude + Cooler + Zappier

Zappier= Happier + yo]

Of course there are people who will think you are a menace, but what do they know and do we really give a damn what others think ! And to those people who think you are a stupid, biggest jerk ever seen on roads and keep wondering who the hell gave you a drivers license, I will say only this and as I say, know that there is some air quote happening around- “whoa”

I have collected some Sayings, News paper headlines and Excerpts from T.V shows which say it loud and clear that ‘I HONK THEREFORE I AM’

There is an old saying in Webdings-

All those who honk like maniacs on loose will be dumped in hell and made to eat rotten cabbage four times a day. (Although the connection between rotten cabbage and punishing honking maniacs is not known but the ill effects of eating rotten cabbage most definitely are.)

Now some honk related news that made it to the headlines in all the leading news papers this year

Those who see dead people can also see people who honk like crazy - Times

Those who see only good and positive and meditate to elevate say that the more you honk, closer you get to the awesome seats in heaven.- The Times

(This I believe is true, has to be, why else would someone honk when the signal is red, or on a deserted road or even in a basement car parking! Think about it, who are these people honking at in the basement parking ! unless their car is an alien communicating with its species dressed up as other vehicles, in that case Your highness kindly excuse my ignorance.)

From the food shows, quotes of some celebrity chefs-

.”….And while we are at praising or criticising honking( depending on which side popular people are) there are some cocktails like Honk Honk,Honka doo, Honky Donky etc which are truly incredible and should be banned.. “- Ataa Maajhi Satakli

“….then there is Honk Tikka masala and Honk In Rice which no one should eat till one knows Honk is a vegetable or meat and in case of later what kind of meat is being used…you %%$##&** shit you garbage ^%#@ you are a fish piss- Gordon Ramsey

Your City Guide published the following in their April 2013 booklet-

“..and while we are at this topic of honking and related stuff I want to request people who dream, sing and dance honk, not to spit or urinate in open till we are sure how much of information makes it’s way to your brains.”

Well have to admit, never expected so much hooplahoo about honking in News papers and T.V shows but as I always say-

” someone is going to talk about it, much sooner than you expected” ( this one day will be the most used quote)

Oh and I wrote this incredibly amazing rocking song on Honking which will make you a proud Honker.

I have named it ‘Flaunt your Honk’

Honk your way to work ( why do you work again?)

Honk your way to home ( no need but hey you gotta sleep)

Honk in a parking lot ( why not cars are people too!)

Honk if you are driving all alone ( like that ever happens …ha)

òó

HonkHonk cos you own this world

HonkHonk cos you are such a Dude

HonkHonk cos there is no one like you

HonkHonk cos you are in the mood

òó

Honk loud in a traffic jam ( wth)

Honk on a deserted road ( like you are disturbing ghosts now

)

Honk to the tune of a song ( cos you have an art)

Honk cos you ain’t a toad ( um hmm)

òó

HonkHonk cos you are rich

HonkHonk cos your dad got cash

HonkHonk cos you own the law

HonkHonk cos rash is in fash.

òó

You were born with nothing ( what’s it to anyone i ask)

You came in this world alone( yeah so what)

But now you got cash, house and cars (

)

HonkHonk and let the world know ( sure wouda)

*********

( seriously!!!! you are going to copy this!!!)

As I said earlier some one is going to talk about it sooner, soooner did it happen. Today Stuart from THE STUART TIMES reported the Following,all i have to say to this is and i air quote it _ “I knew It”

Honking, honking all day long
Why, cos I like this honking song.
Honk in the day time
And night time too
Honk to the pedestrians
And other drivers too.
I used to think that honking was crass
A thing to be done
By a stupid dumbass
But now I know that honking is cool
I’ll ask for it to be taught in school.

B FOR BOO, ONE O SILENT

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Soma Mukherjee under Insane Zone, My Poetry, Stories from Under the Bed

Hashtag Boogart

There will never be another ghost like him

So full of vim, So driven by whim

Munching on toasts, Haunting the coasts

Hashtag Boogart

Huge Grunge fan , sporting Tattoos and Tan

used to live with me not so long ago

He was scared of the Boos (sometimes of his own)

Shivered and sweated everytime he heard a Coo

Felt dizzy at the sight of Jimmy choos and Candy yoos

He was scared of everything that had a double O

even the toos, the Loos, and the Moos

Boogart was scared of zoos

and there was nothing I could do for him

He hated ducks and drakes

Despised the designer fakes

Scowled at the screeching sound of sudden brakes

He hated everything that rhymed with snakes

even the cakes, the lakes and the snow flakes

Boogart was scared of zoos

Boogart hated milk shakes

and there was nothing , oh nothing

I could ever do for him

He would get cramps just looking at leams

Break in hives if he accidental feasted on breams

Sneeze and wheeze if exposed to steams and screams

He was allergic to everything that had ‘eams’

even the fleams, the up streams and the creams

Boogart was scared of zoos

hated milkshakes

was allergic to dreams

and oh unlucky me

I could never ever ever do anything for him

Poor Boogart hiding as a wallpaper after some kids shouted boo at him.

That is why last Friday

people from

The Ghost Welfare Committee ( T.G.W.C)

took him away from me

I live alone in my, now not so haunted mansion

while Hashtag Boogart

once my pet Ghost

lives in a zoo

with ice creams on every menu

and is given a bed made of cornflakes.

Hashtag Boogart

I miss him toogart.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

*************

My Dear Dearest Friend STUART visited Boogart in the zoo and this is what he had to say-

Alas poor Boogart, I visited him there.
In the zoo, where everyone stared.
‘Boo us ghosty’ – how the crowd howled.
But poor Boogart simply scowled.
He tried to tell them to get out of there.
But the sound that they heard was breeze in the air.
Misery, blisery, booing and hoo
Poor Boogart doesn’t belong in a zoo.
A mansion with webs,
Hanging down from the stairs,
Is where he belongs.
He’d be happier there.

~ Stuart (http://thechangeyourlifeblog.wordpress.com/)

( This Blog is protected by FBI,RAW,CBI,MI6 AND X-MEN and WOMBIES)

Seven scoops Budbudbuddy

Posted on April 6, 2013 by Soma Mukherjee under Insane Zone, Story, Uncategorized

Autism- Let’s have Fun

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Soma Mukherjee under Autism, Insane Zone

2nd April is World Autism Awareness Day. I will be wearing Blue, talking about it, helping people understand Myths and Facts surrounding Autism.

eg- Moms who watch horror movies during their pregnancy give birth to Autistic kids–hell no, that will only make the kid see dead people!
Autistic kids are born to parents who believe in Alien invasions, ughh, no again. They will have a kid born with tin foil covering the head…… get the point.

I have always believed if you are not having fun you are not doing it right. No matter what you do, do it with all your heart and you will enjoy the journey. An anxious worried parent cannot raise a happy child.

The mantra is fun and Honesty. be crazy, be love, be structured, be mess, be understanding, be considerate, give space to your kid, believe in giving not just 2nd or 3rd but 1000 chances, one day success- next day what happened- no problem let’s start again!

There is no one way to live with autism, what works for you may or may not help others, let’s not blindly follow others and let’s not force others to follow our ways.

no medicines unless 100% sure of its origin and effects.

Well that’s that now let’s have fun.

Inside the head of an autism Mom there is a weird ninja fun zone, but she isn’t born with it, this kind of madness and insanity takes unlearning and learning 100,000 times. But once you reach this madness its fun not just for the parent but also the kid.

Human brain has two sides, left and right and I have a third one, which keeps shifting its position and makes me write weird posts and make strange cartoons and doodles. It is called floating craziness, can be seen in mirror and it has its own shadow too and it helps me understand Autism.

With help of this third part of brain I made some fun Autism Doodles and cartoons, hope you enjoy.

1) AUSTISM IS TOODLING DOODLING GOOGLING FOODLE