In the beginning there was nothing and God said let there be light,but when the lights were switched on God saw a lot of Indians roaming around. It was shocking cos He had Adam and eve in his mind, but Indians had totally foiled his plans of launching those two people.
He asked the Indians what are you doing here and how did you come here before I could send my people..to which one of the highly intellectual and well read Indian replied..excuse me God but we have more that 100 gods,why would we wait for you to send Adam and eve??
And this is how The Indian supremacy over the world began, so whenever i hear people saying oh Indians stole our jobs I say..what rubbish, more gods,more rights, which part is not clear?Indians were on this planet much much before Americans,English people and all other dubbed movie language people( like french,spanish) arrived from mars and venus.
And since we came early we also had time to compartmentalize gods like god for education,god for money,god for rain..we even have god for marriage..that is the reason why we are getting married all the time and have such a huge population..why we have god for that too,i mean to have kids..we have god for everything…and also we have had enough time to develop our third eye…
( A note to people making fun of Indians – you guys with one God puhleease we were performing miracles when you were learning to make fire)
Now many Gods also means many God-men too right..no not the ones in temples,but the self-proclaimed ones..who after trying everything under the sun have finally understood they were sent here to con people
BTW Con is a bad word for English people and other dubbed movie language people not for us..here we take pride in conning.
After almost 39 years on this planet I finally understood all the why’s and what’s too and so I have decided to rename my self MATA SOMA and booked a big hall which will be known as –
THE THIRD EYE OF MATA SOMA HALL..
here I will meet my devotees, listen to their grievances and bless them.
It really is very simple and easy and if you want to know more and join me later in my pledge to spread love and money as far as possible,why you have come to right place.I have been watching all the babas and matas closely for quite sometime and am sure I know everything.
Here are some examples of how I will solve the problems
Devotee 1- Mata I am 29-year-old and not getting married. have met four girls and all of them rejected me,now even the milk man makes fun of me . what should I do ??
Mata(me): tell your milk man he was a donkey in his previous life and order him to bray and then distribute red framed sunglasses to all the girls in neighbourhood for free. with in a month you will get married.
Devotee 2: Mata I am 49-year-old and still very poor and my boss pays me peanuts what to do?
Mata: Hmm this will require special blessings..put some money in that mans pocket( could be you if you join me :) ) and offer 5 litres of peanut oil to your boss. he will increase your salary.
Devotee 3: Mata I am 78-year-old and still no child( at this point lot of gasps will be heard but not because she is old trying to have kid but because how useless is a woman who cannot bear a child)
Mata: come here child you need a hug…( my devotees will sing matas hug destroying the bug song)now tell me child I will ask..why do I see a cow around you…
Devotee3 : no mata I don’t have a cow
Mata: no there is a cow, may be your parents have had it
Devotee: no mata no one in our family has ever had a cow
Mata what rubbish your ancestors were always living in city or what….somewhere between cave men and modern man one of your ancestors had a cow….
Mata: donate two cows of same blood line as the one your ancestors had to a poor man and with in a month you will have a child.
Devotee: but Mata where will I find a cow of same bloodline
Mata: where there is a will there is a cow
all i need is a few indians to be my people…you know wearing some special outfit and do good PR and get me a prime time slot on television…
Phoren people, my friends in need, please help me out here I will get a lot of popularity if i will have some of you guys as my followers..also you can write about the blessing that i am and the miracles that i perform, in your blogs :)
If you read the tags you will find parenting,cos by doing this you will be setting up an excellent example for your kids too :)
A suggestion to wordpress people please understand Baba is not babes and do not try to correct my spelling everytime…its very Racist :shock:
kindly contact me asap at my email id_ email@example.com