A Dinner never Lies

I used to love reading and watching movies. my favourite genres were thrillers and horror. yes i had a dark side and every now and then i used t let it out and pamper its wants and then hide it behind this sweet romantic exterior.

But that was Yesterday,Today i am minutes away from being someones dinner and the table tells me its going to be quick and painless.

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They say if you watch horror movie once in a while

you will have nightmares full of gore and vile

but if ever you cross that 500 movie limit

devil himself will pay you a visit

But how the devil will look you will never know

it may be as a thing,a person or a cow or a crow

and if this happens to be on friday the first

you will be on his menu quenching his thirst

~a very drunk man

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Yesterday

And i woke up to the shrill sound of kettle..

it took me a while to realise i hadn’t put anything on the stove.

what if there has been an intruder,of course what else can it be?

boy some gutsy fella making tea for himself like this.should i call police or surprise that fellow with the base-ball bat near….

i sat up and saw the Television still on and  a psycho, killing people while the kettle screams for attention…..ugh so there isn’t any intruder

and then came a voice from  the television,”so are you going to switch me off or do i re -incarnate as a human to do that”

“excuse me!” i said and realised i was talking to TV

“yeah like she will, come on get up you lazy bum”, said the sofa i was sitting on

..and i jumped up away from it..what the,…are these things talking NOW

“look at her expressions”, said the wall clock,”Hey Miss you have been watching horror movies back to back for last one week and this is shocking?”

“well now that you are up will you please clean me dry,said the vase,”cos these flowers have been inside me for past one week and now i look like hugging a dead body”

“well at least she uses you”, complained the ashtray,”i was picked up after heavy bargaining and not only she doesn’t smoke she doesn’t care to clean the dust off me.”

i was not over the shock yet but was able to breathe and move and i decided to go to the kitchen and ……..well maybe have some water and gather some sense of whatever i witnessed just now.

may be splashing my face with ice water will wake me up from this nightmare i am having

But as soon as i entered the kitchen the sink said “well hello! look who decided to pay us a visit, if it isn’t her Highness herself…to what do we owe such an honour mam”

i was stunned at the rude behaviour of the sink but before i could say anything or react further, it said “see the dishes here ,yeah the brown yellow ones,they were still white when you put them here and unless you are trying to see how long it takes for a dish to change colour kindly do wash them.i am done carrying so much weight and would love to breathe some fresh air.”

Oh there was so sarcasm in the air inside the house…

this cant be happening..what is this..am i dreaming,what kind of nightmare is this…

just then the fridge said,”she doesn’t seem well, what happened darling want some juice .”

“use me my expiry date is tomorrow!”, screamed the yogurt,

“hey me first”‘ said the pear ,

“guys chill she can’t eat everything.Miss if you ain’t gonna eat me kindly throw me in the garbage so that some poor guy can”, said the half eaten pizza from 3 days back.

i ran to the bedroom to change dress and go out for some fresh air when one of my black dresses said,” yeah use me you devil..abuse my body as much as you can but you can’t touch my soul..my soul fled the day it saw who was going to wear me.”

“tell me that”said the weighing scale

“hey i look gorgeous when i wear you “i told the dress ,”and i have lost oodles”

“OMG, said the mirror,”guys she really believes it”

I had tolerated enough and i had to get out so i decided to leave house in my pyjamas but as soon as i went out the hose pipe in the garden said,”err miss i don’t think you are ever going to use me, can you keep me in the garage, it gets dusty out here in summer”

Garbage can shouted hey miss,

the garage,the road,the toad,

the car,the tree from near and far

the birds flying up ,the snakes slithering down

the rats,the cats,the bats,the flying hats

they all spoke and shouted and screamed

no this can’t be i must be trapped in some bad dream

help me someone i cried and i ran

i ran and i ran and i ran

I ran and didn’t stop till i saw some familiar faces

and told them everything i just heard and Saw,they didnt look amused or shocked at all!

Mrs A advised cucumber juice

Mrs B said yoga

Mrs C told me to try looking up-side down

Mrs D suggested homeopathy

Mrs E shook her head and said i was too thin

please i begged tell me something which you know for sure will work,i am in deep trouble

Mrs F sneered and said well excuse us dear if you think your problems are big wait till you hear mine

“look at the bright side, you are still alive,arent you”, said a lamp post near by and smiled and that was when something hit my head and i blacked out…..

Artist-Sarbajeet Mukherjee

The Lambretta Girl

This is a story

Story of the Lambretta Girl

But tell her that and she would tell you to change the title to story of a girl whose Father had a lambretta.

Ok,Fine whatever the title,this story has two heroes,the Girl and The Lambretta.

This girl was born on 16th of may on summer of 73 to Parents who knew just one way to live life-to be alive and aware at all times.

she grew up in a house where giving,sharing and caring for others was as normal and as easily done as breathing.

They used to travel a lot,short or long trips,meeting relatives, trekking,morning walks,going to shopping in the nearby city,you name it..

They would just get up,take whatever needed and go out to celebrate life.

That was where and this was how she learned to live life.

And although trekking and morning walks were fun,nothing could ever come close to when she would stand in the front space of lambretta or share the front seat with her Dad.

Oh the joy when you zoom past all that is on either side of the road

the air greets you first,the rush

you see the scenery and the people first,the pride

and you fight demons and creatures from the other world clearing the road for your father,the victory.

It was something else,had everything, great stories are made of.

And in those rides sometimes her parents would take a pause in a mango garden which was en-route to the city,where under the trees were Dragons to be killed,fairies to be freed and people waiting to be rescued, A warriors work is never done she would often say.

And when finally her royal carriage-The Lambretta, would land in the city, they would be greeted by all the earthlings,given royal salutes and grand welcome.

And while her parents would get busy shopping,she would help as many people as she could with one hand cos her mom or dad would never let her out of sight and hold her hand the entire time.

Things would get difficult ,try sword fight with one hand while one of your parents is holding your other arm.But she would never give up,after all it was her kingdom.

And one day and she wont be able to tell you the exact date,but when events are this unfortunate and heart wrenching who remembers the date,right?

This day she was asked to start sitting on the back seat( do I hear gasps and cries?)

Her father told her she had grown tall and now she would have to vacate that dream seat for her little brother.

Oh imagine the shock

Did I hear someone saying what’s the big deal,it’s not a big problem?

hey problems cannot and should not be compared ever,Had she heard you she would tell you that and hundreds of stories about how each problem is big in its own way and how she could never ever tell which one hurt more,a thorn or math.

Argue with that?

Oh how she wanted to tell her parents,what a big mistake they were making in giving the prestigious and most dangerous seat to her little brother,who not only couldn’t fight like her but also had no idea what a great thing day dreaming was!

who would save the world now,and if the news gets to the underworld and it would she knew that,those creatures would rise again and this time with renewed strength.

Finally the day came when she had to sit in the carrier of the scooter,which was the last seat and mostly used by people to carry inane things.Oh the shame,she hid her face with her mom’s Saree and didn’t/couldn’t enjoy the ride at all.

All the demons were laughing and the earthlings were looking at her with pity.

No,this can’t be happening she thought,she had to take control,she had a  world to save.

so she thought why not save the world from here,the last seat and make the three people sitting before her,her  bodyguards,after all she was a warrior princess,she could afford some of them,couldn’t she?

and soon law and order was restored in her kingdom and people were told princess was back and this time with bodyguards.

You may think of this as a silly story…

No problem, The Lambretta Girl would not take offence,simply cos super heroes cannot/do not explain how they saved zillions of life and not ever,even for once blow their own trumpet.

so think what you want to and say what you want to,for  only the Girl with Lambretta knows how many times she flew across continents to save you life

For she is

Oh she is

Wow she is

The Lambretta girl

♠

And she would stand in the front

Or sit in the back

And fight the demons

And save the world

For she is

Oh she is

Wow she is a

The Lambretta girl

♠

She would look ordinary

And dress up like a commoner

And her weapons would be invisible

But her strikes would be powerful

For she is

Oh she is

Wow she is

The Lambretta Girl

♠

Under the dining table lies her kingdom

And Lambretta is her royal ride

And whenever you need her help

Just shout help me oh Lambretta girl

For she is

Oh she is

Wow she is

The Lambretta girl

♠

And she will reach you fast

And fight for you

And stand by you

Till you hug her good-bye

For she is 

Oh she is

Wow she is

The Lambretta girl

♠

So this is a story of a Lambretta and a girl

The girl not so girl like

A tomboy

Climbing up trees

And playing with sand and mud

A misfit

Bad in studies

Good in dreaming

Would choose to be a warrior than be a princess

And oh Yes that’s me.

Ya-aawn

There is a tree

that lives in my backyard,                                         

in her youth she was infamous

for her loud snores and yawns,

and as all other trees were taken

the arboreals who lived on that tree

had no choice but to tolerate all that

but one day she took it too far

she yawned like she had never before

and she yawned and yawned and yawned

till it looked like she was crying and

Stretched her branches as far as she could

to shake off her laziness

Oh how could she, asked the clouds

and gossiped about it with the sun

Leaves and fruits fell down in bunches

oh! said the leaves,its not autumn

Ouch! said the fruits, that is so not fair

Oh you think you are the only ones hurt,

Asked the monkey and a squirrel

who had fallen on ground with a thud

Monkey said my bum would be red whole day

how would i explain this to my girlfriend

Squirrel started laughing and

Said your bum is always red

Not funny said the monkey

and pointed at squirrels bum which was red too

together they gave the tree a cold hard stare

They asked the tree to apologise and behave.

right then all of them heard a faint crack

they looked up at the nest on the tree

crack became louder

and out was a baby bird’s head                                 

what was that, the baby squeaked

Oh that made Mama bird so mad

Look what you did, she asked the tree

My baby is one day too early

and her first words are not

Mom I am hungry!

To calm her down the squirrel said

Oh but what a cute little baby you have

That warmed up Mama birds heart and

she smiled with pride and said Yes she is

but I am not going to forgive the tree

and while they got busy loving the baby

and hating the tree

A cat and a dog who were playing

in the house came running

To see and be the part of the fight

Meow said the cat, she meant hey you guys have rights

You should report this incident, call the police

Woofs said the dog, call animal protection and sue the tree

Monkey said I will, first let me have some fruits

Squirrel said me too, after my stomach is full

and house well stocked

Mama bird had a baby to feed

and teach her new chirps

Meow and woof looked a little disappointed

and they called the tree boarders lazy and greedy

A snake who saw all this from his hole,came out

and hissed at both the cat and the dog

for talking like humans

Some worms even heard the hiss

using harsh words like humanoholic

Nearby an owl was watching all this

with sleepy eyes

He said hoo hoo hoo

Which clearly meant oh my god

and me oh I was carrying little bubbah

on my shoulder that day and

he said bub bub bub bub baaa and yawned

which shocked everyone

look what happens when you ya-aawn

and stretch your hands that wide

such a bad example was that tree

who still lives in my backyard

©Somkritya

Chunni lal babu’s clock

Chunni lal babu’s old wall clock

was eating dust in an antique shop

every body was scared of it

and yet every one wanted to own it

human behaviour

how odd

Sensational news travels faster than light

it does and it did

at least regarding this clock

some said the watch was cursed

some said it was Chunnilal babu’s spirit

anyways, so the rumour was, that the clock

watches every thing the whole day

and right at midnight

instead of the usual ding-dong

sings out an important event of its choice

12 times

often putting people in the dock

why in the last house at the Raghav’s

it’s said, at 12 in the night it sang

Mr Raghav is cheating on his wife

12 times straight that too with a background music

of course Mr Raghav laughed it off

but suspicion is a worm and it eats you inside

so he ended up getting a divorce

and lost his job too

His Father in law was his boss

and the clock came back to the shop

the shopkeeper didn’t look shocked or amused

and I was the only one who found it strange

and then before that

in Little kittypong’s house

just at 12 it sang out loud 

kittypong is eating all the biscuits

and putting the blame on the poor dog

how a dog could steal a key

open an almirah 

and eat the biscuits

was puzzling

but his parents did believe that!

But after the incident

 Kittypong got punishment

and the dog licked the clock

but the clock was sent back

 cos it got the adults worried

who doesn’t have some secrets, right?

this went on and caused a lot of heart burn and anxiety

The people of the town thought

its better to burn down the clock

every one wanted the right to have an affair

with no fear of divorce or losing a job

and kids just wanted the freedom

to eat whatever and whenever

dogs were very sad and they howled in protest

but who listens to them

 and so the clock was burned down

but then the strangest thing happened

there was a dust storm

and the clock’s ashes flew with that

and went inside every one

who didn’t cover up their nose

oh what a disaster

to start saying the truth

and 12 every night

last heard every one is divorced

and jobless in the town

Kids are grounded 24/7

and dogs don’t look that happy either

damn the clock

Truth- just when you don’t want it

Curio’s Incredible Journey -4 By Stuart Young

A good story will never let you down

in this land of story you will find everything

flying horses,talking frogs,dancing dragons

and if you are a dreamer like me

you will know how some of the characters of stories

will be after your life

and some will be there to help you out

what you learn from each story will be yours

for, a good story will never let you down

 it will teach you something very valuable

may be about you or the choices you will make

some of the stories will give you mantra

and some will be cautionary tales

But a good story will never let you down

will teach you new songs

will weave its  magic through your emotions

stir some ripples in your heart

which will help you connect with fellow humans

will help you understand others better

for a good story will never let you down

you will cry,laugh and travel with them

and dream about them

they will heal your soul

soothe some raw nerves

some may bring back to life things you buried deep inside

BUT A GOOD STORY WILL NOT LEAVE YOU UNTOUCHED

IT WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN

© Soma Mukherjee

Stuart Young’s 4th book on the Adventures of Curio the Sloth is out …what joy

Curio listens to his inner voice and understands his dreams and starts this journey on this path never travelled before and boy does he face danger.

Stuart shocked me with the 4th part,imagine cute little sloth on a raft in mid sea drifting to nowhere cos a storm sent him off his course…oh my heart goes out to the little brave soldier. what happened to cute little Curio?

Will he reach land,wasn’t the sea shark infested..Did Curio survive those treacherous waves and the hungry monsters..read it out to know more.

But will have to warn you,this isn’t just a sweet story anymore..cos like it or not life will not be sweet all the times…and alone you shall be sometimes and scared and find dark tunnels every where you look, some choices you make will be package deals and you will have to embrace everything and make the best of what you get. Discard the ones which are not working,make new plans again….

every road you see and walk on today,if you think it was this easy since the beginning you can’t be more wrong!

but should you stop and go back..may be, but not forever, comeback with a new plan and continue this journey..This my dear is life

GOd made us, gave us this beautiful place to live in and gave us each a basket full of goodies….some, we will like some, we wont but what we do with them will make us….so are you ready :) 

are you ready to start this new day with the goodies you have inside

are you ready to walk run and dance on the beautiful song that is life

Are you ready to travel with Curio 

Click the link below to read the 4th part

Curio’s Incredible Journey-4 By STUART YOUNG

Those who wish to contact Stuart please click the link given below.

http://thechangeyourlifeblog.wordpress.com/

Wish you all Goodreads

Related articles

• Curio and The Great Ridge-1 by Stuart Young (somkritya.wordpress.com)
• Curio Begins to remember -2 by Stuart Young (somkritya.wordpress.com)
• Curio’s Next Adventure-3 by Stuart Young (somkritya.wordpress.com)

what an incredibly true story

once there was a bad luck man

people called him Mr.Jinx

which of course was not his real name

but when you spread bad luck where ever you go

No one calls you by your real name

and wherever he went

people suffered,lost bets

got married( which no one is sure is good or bad)

they fought,they melted, they froze

even the frogs in the nearby pond sang

Mr jixn is a horrible terrible wretched kretched bile vile man

Don't go by the picture,they are really sad

The kind people of STIKITIPOOG

gave him refuge

but as soon as he entered the town

the sheriff broke his leg falling form the bed

his wife ran away with the cobbler of the town

the cat woofed and the crows oinked

and the donkeys..nah they didn’t change( how bad is that!)

all because the bad luck man was there

and snakes of the jungle hissed around and sang

Mr jinx is a horrible terrible wretched kretched bile vile man

I say hiss,Mr Jinx is an alien

The people of TUMPLETOKEN took it as a challenge

they invited him to stay over for the weekend

but no sooner did Mr Jinx enter the town

the cows stopped giving milk

the horses started knitting sweaters

the beer tasted like Orange juice

and little katty started laughing like a hyena( oh my! a girl with that laugh)

all because he was  a bad luck man

and the witches of the north then sang

Mr Jinx is a horrible terrible wretched kretched bile vile man

The people of CRUMPLECOTH were followers of Satan

they said no one can harm them at all

but Mr jinx was going to shock them all

for as soon as he stepped in the town

Satan grew angel wings and a halo( imagine the shock)

and the men, well i cant write about it here( but they all hid in their cellars for a long long time)

the kids started writing epics( this can never be good)

the  ants laid ostrich egg

it was mess in the CRUMPLECOTH

and the vampires watched all this in horror and  sang

Mr Jinx is a horrible terrible wretched kretched bile vile man

Mr Jinx will go to hell

And every where he went

things went wrong

hyenas cried whole time

crocodiles became vegetarians

and ate the entire amazon

It was getting worse and this I shared with my friend

But she smiled and said

Gottcha Ants can’t lay eggs,they are mammals

Well excuse me! But I caught your lie
Ants don't lay no eggs