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Monthly Archives: October 2011

Pumpkin Halloween

On halloween or any other spooky night if you want to ward off the ghosts or spirits, go pumpkin….. eat pumpkin pie,curry,tart,cake,have it roasted, toasted, grilled or anyway you like …for some reason ghosts stay away from people who have pumpkin.. or is it that they love pumpkin and take it as an invitation when you have it ?
aaaaagh I kinda seem to have forgotten but lets just go with what I remember, Ghosts Hate/Fear Pumpkin.
Nope people around you didnt tell you this and there are no folklores to prove this FACT..but I am a kind soul and during the halloweens its just seems unfair to have so much ghostly knowledge and not share.
And no matter what people tell you or you read about halloween this is the very real, authentic, original( i can go on ) reason why pumpkins are carved.
Of course you can spend your life not believing in ghosts but then it will be a life minus the fun. what is life if you do not have some imaginary friends and some not so friendly ones too!!
tell me what you find more appealing ….scared of  just what you see
or being scared of some invisible types and then spending time to get rid of them….garlic cloves any one..
it is fun no matter what you say. I love being scared of the hand which in my mind, is going to grab my leg one night as soon as I put it down from  my bed to go to the toilet, or a reflection of an unknown person seen sometimes when I walk in front of  a mirror in hurry(after i have just finished reading a spooky book).
But for the above you have to –
a) read a really scary book or watch a horror movie
b) walk fast in front of mirror and
c) it helps if you are drunk too!!
I would rather spend my day( specially nights) in creepy old castle to get a glimpse of ghost or some spirit than dressed up in funny creepy costumes and getting wasted in some random party. Of course after you are drunk if you take a wise decision to drive too, you may get lucky and get to join the happening crowd of ghosts.
but not every one is that lucky most will end up in some small cell after rash and crash which I am sure is not very in demand halloween end.
Anyways this halloween go pumpkin to ward of the ghosts
or stay away from pumpkins if you want to host a ghost
I have no idea how ghosts say bye( or may be they dont need to cos they kill you)
so I would do what we humans do…watchha back c ya soon tc
oh and before I go everytime someone knocks at your door or the bell rings tonight do not forget to ask the pumpkin
PUMPKIN PUMPKIN ON THE FLOOR
TELL ME WHO KNOCKS AT MY  DOOR
SHOULD I INVITE THEM AND BE A GOOD HOST
OR IS IT KNOCKED BY SOME SCARY GHOST
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERY ONE 🙂

Mr.Page

I now present to you the talk of the town Mr Page

His looks are deceptive; please don’t be fooled by his age

 

He lives alone in a house near to his office in front of a park

He has far too many enemies for he is a loan shark

 

Before I tell you more let me put a disclaimer

Now days anyone can sue you, even a lamer

 

So if there is any resemblance with anyone dead or alive

It’s a mere coincidence, have checked all archive

 

Mr Page as you read this, is now in a court

Facing a trial bravely and holding on to his fort

 

Lawyer asked him if he would promise not to lie

Mr Page told, truth it shall be, till he would die

 

Not only was he a loan shark whose guts every one hated

He spoke in rhymes, even when he debated

 

All he did was to threaten people all the time

He made them sound ridiculous adding punches and rhymes

 

When the lawyer asked, ‘Mr Page can you show us how you rhyme.’

He replied, ‘ no sir this is neither the place nor the time.’

 

‘Besides I am not carrying any dictionary or copy of rhyme zone’

‘Watch what you say Mr Page’ said the lawyer, ‘I don’t like your tone’.

 

‘Order order’, said the judge, ‘I don’t want any rhyming in my court.’

I can see my lawyers have started rhyming too’, he added with a snort

 

‘Do you see Mr page what a bad precedence you have set’?

‘Why my lord how could I corrupt the court, ‘ said Mr Page, ‘ we have just met’

 

‘There you go, rhyming again even when I told not to’

‘Sir why are you so against rhyming I have absolutely no clue’

 

‘Mr Page, please stop.’

‘Sorry sir I will try to drop.’

‘Mr Page I warn you.’

‘I am trying, I am trying, and it’s hard! Phew’

‘A phew! Did you have to add that’?

‘Sir please, it’s all part of a chat’

‘Mr Page you are not helping’

‘Please my lord, stop yelping’

‘What! How dare you! Handcuff him and put him in jail,

No books, No net, No friends and No bail.’

 

So you see this how Mr Page landed up in prison

And for what, rhyming, which was certainly no treason

 

Funny laws, funny punishments, this certainly was a funny case

But the people were happy as long as they didn’t see Mr Page’s face.

 

 

My Bad

My neighbour is sitting in front of me telling me a story

(got to give it a name, ‘her life so far and everybody else’s whom she knows’)

How long has it been, an hour, a day, eternity?

I don’t even know what she is saying anymore!

I lost her within ten minutes into the conversation.

Wait I heard 300, What 300?

The movie! Ah Gerard butler, love him (Law abiding citizen what a movie)

Why is she frowning? Did she ask me something?

What do I do now, god please help.

And trying to salvage the situation I reply, “Wow that’s amazing!” (Hope it is)
anything to stop that intense gazing.

And she smiles (phew)

She is now describing 3rd cousin’s 4th sis in law’s 2nd best friend

What did she say just now, step mother? Whose?  She won’t leave anyone out of this monologue will she?

(Did she mean Step mom-Julia Roberts?)

If my hubby cheats on me or leaves me for someone else, I will kill him, in somewhat Dexter like pattern, how dare he…

What happened! My neighbour looks scared?

What did she see?

And then I look at my reflection in the mirror, oh my the expression I am wearing,

it’s funny and scary both!

Can’t blame me! My husband just cheated on me in my imagination.

What do I do she is still staring at me?

“Hey you know what I have always been a big fan of your smile and wow what a lovely dress you are wearing, amazing sense of style”, I say

“Oh thanks”,she says and blushes

“People often compliment me”, she gushes

And she is back to storytelling mode

I take second look at myself in the mirror

I don’t look friendly or warm at all

Why would then someone I hardly interact with come up to me to empty her brain?

(May be I am wrong, maybe I have this special power, I am
not aware of, which makes people to open up to me!

What if I open a centre where I can charge people per hour
for just listening to them that too without any interruption?

I think that’s what a psychiatrist does and I need one too!)

Or is this her way of showing contempt and hatred.

It has been long since I have been out in the garden

What is the time, oh how does it matter, it will only add to my discomfort.

Is my phone dead, why is no one calling me?

What if I get up and check my phone and then call on my cell?

Will she know?

And if I make it more obvious may be she will feel offended and never come again

Hey I can start doing flutterwacken too!

Wow sounds like a plan (and the plan makes me smile)

Problem is no matter how sinister my brain is, my heart won’t allow

So I let her continue for next half an hour, still my brain not registering any word thrown at me, I have to pay attention to what she is saying, what if she is speaking in some other language?

This must be it, that’s why I am not able to understand anything.

She is laughing now. At her own joke

I am sure it is funny

But with my legs almost half dead am not finding anything amusing anymore.

I laugh with her and say she is so funny.

She stops abruptly and stares at me

What! Did I say something wrong?

Was it not a joke? But she was laughing?

Why would you laugh if it weren’t! Unless you are completely insane like me!

She smiles again and continues her story.

She says something about park.

Hey I saw Jurassic park, loved it, but there have been so many dinosaur movies after that, Hate them all.

Except for that movie every dinosaur movie sucks.

When was the last time I went to see a movie?

It has been long.

The moment this woman gets up I will book a ticket to some movie.

Yes I need to get out.

What should I do to get rid of her in the politest way possible?

What if I take a bathroom break?

Yeah it’s my house and I got go.

How can it be misconstrued?

Ok here I go and then once I get there will pretend to get
an important call and emergency of some kind and try to restore freedom.

“Excuse me (damn forgot her name) …….Babe, will be back in a minute

Why don’t you check out the latest album I bought, it’s quite a hit”

Let the drama begin

“Hey I got a call from XYZ; it’s important, got to go, sorry can we continue some
other day.

May be over dinner here or go out, what do you say?”

She is looking at the chair behind and frowning.

Why what is there?

I turn around

Oh man this is bad, when did she come?

XYZ is sitting there.

In The Magical Land Of Library

Hey kid let’s do something different
Let’s save a library
What do you think?
Will you like to Go
and Spend some time there?
Books love kids, did you know that?
And the kids who read all kinds of books
Are loved the most
And the kids  who share stories with their friends
And take them to  library are rewarded the most
For  nothing  absolutely  nothing  Can replace a book
Have you ever smelled a book?
Which one  smells better,
a new  book or an old book?
Did you know that if you keep your favourite book,
Near your pillow at  the night
All those who live in the books come alive,
Just to guard you and protect you!
Books  are  portals to magical world
They can sing, they  can dance, and even talk to us,
But, to see all that you really really really
Have to believe in  magic.
No computer or Television can bring a book down
For a book has a much stronger crown
A library is a garden of books
And only our love for books can save it from the doom
And who knows in which shelf of the  library
You will meet that magical book,
That will tell you all about,The king and his  men,
and their battle against the giant spiders
And the  fairies who fought
With demons  and saved the child
 
And the evil witch with her cauldron  full of spells
Bubble trouble bubble double  and boom!
And the  mountain rock and the mile stone
And why they could  never be friends
And have you not heard of the story of Cinderella,
Do you know she loves kids who read about her in books!
And the story of an elephant and a monkey
And a snake who became the best of  friends
This goes to prove any one can be your friend
If  you  really  want  them  to   be
And  welcome  them  with  open arms
And the pirates of the red sea
Who found a big treasure trove in a faraway land?
And they had to fight with the big snake with a dozen heads!!
(HEY WHO DO YOU THINK IS A DOZEN?
ELEVENS ELDER SISTER, OR FOUR’S DISTANT COUSIN?)
But the pirates could not take it with them
As the sea was rough,
Hidden under a tree is the map to that island
And if you plant enough trees
One day they will tell you where
And of course who doesn’t know the story of the horse that ran so fast that it revolved around the sun in just 260 days!
How much time do you think the earth takes?
And do you know what the little pony said when he coughed
Did he say he was a little horse or hoarse?
But before you go to the book of knowledge section
Check your hands
They really do not want anyone to touch them
With hands full of germs
But then every book loves clean hand
I know so because once Poodle Doodle Noodledoo
Scolded me for eating while reading  them
And do you know in the last shelf  somewhere
 is a very dangerous book
Do not open or read it without help of the wise
In it lives a demon in an angels  disguise
I forgot the name but you can go there and  ask
For  the books on demons (in a hush hush tone)
For you never know how many of the demons spies
Are in the books around
Do you not hear the books from the libraries calling you?
They want to be  your friend,
Will you?
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