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How Dare Thee!

Are you tired of constantly being treated unfairly?
Are you one of those who remember all the witty insulting phrases long after the fight is over?
Are you always looking for clever smart insulting words ?
Are you stressed cos insulting someone in style doesn’t come to you easly?
Are you looking forward to a 360 degrees personality make over from Simple Humble to Rude Dude ?
Are you no more contented with middle finger and a few @#$&&%%’s
Today this blog, this piece of work is going to change the way you look at world and world looks at you
This will not get you any respect..No Sir…and thats a promise…But people who used to mock you, make fun of you will have nightmares
They will live in fear and dread the very shadow of yours
Yes you can achieve all this in few minutes
just go through the following shakespear quotes and learn them and throw or hurl them when in need..

Leave thy damnable faces. Hamlet, 3. 2

Let vultures gripe thy guts!T he Merry Wives of Windsor, 1. 3

Leave thy vain bibble babble. Twelfth Night, 4. 2

Laughest thou, wretch? Thy mirth shall turn to moan. Henry VI Part 1, 2. 3

Is his head worth a hat? Or his chin worth a beard? As You Like It, 3. 2

I will not answer thee with words, but blows. Henry VI Part 1, 1. 3

I will not excuse you, you shall not be excused, excuses shall not be admitted, there is no excuse shall serve, you shall not be excused. Henry IV Part 2, 5. 1

I will give thee bloody teeth. Anthony and Cleopatra, 1. 5

I will dry-beat you with an iron wit. Romeo and Juliet, 4. 5

I will bite thee by the ear for that jest. Romeo and Juliet, 2. 4

I think thou art an ass. The Comedy of Errors, 3. 1

I throw thy name against the bruising stonesThe Two Gentlemen of Verona, 1. 2

I spurn thee like a cur out of my way. Julius Caesar, 3. 1

I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. As You Like It, 5. 1

I would didst itch from head to foot: and I had the scratching of thee, I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. Troilus and Cressida, 2.1

Be intelligent to me.T he Winter’s Tale, 1. 2

God help thee, shallow man! As You Like It, 3. 2

Go thou and fill another room in hell. Richard II, 5. 5

Go rot! The Winter’s Tale, 1. 2

Go hang yourselves all: you are idle, shallow things, I am not of your element. Twelfth Night, 3. 4

Go, ye giddy goose. Henry IV Part 1, 3. 1

Go to kennel. Measure For Measure, 3. 2

Get you gone, you dwarf;You minimus, of hindering knot-grass made;You bead, you acorn.A Midsummer Night’s Dream, 3. 2

I cannot endure such a fustian rascal. Henry IV Part 2, 2. 4

How now, wool-sack, what mutter you? Henry IV Part 1, 2. 4

Goodly Lord, what a wit-snapper you are! The Merchant of Venice, 3. 5

A pox damn you, you muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me? Henry IV Part 2, 2. 4

Go forward and be chok’d with thy ambition. Henry VI Part 1, 2. 4

Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Twelfth Night, 2. 3

Away, you bottle-ale rascal. Henry IV Part 2, 2. 4

Be packing! Henry VI Part 1, 4. 1

Down, down to hell; and say I sent thee thither. Henry VI Part 3, 5. 6

Either thou art most ignorant by age, or thou wert born a fool. The Winter’s Tale, 2. 1

Hence will I drag thee headlong by the heelsUnto a dunghill, which shall be thy grave,And there cut off thy most ungracious head. Henry VI Part 2, 4. 10

Heaven truly knows, that thou art false as hell. Othello, 4. 2

If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt. The Two Gentlemen of Verona, 2. 4

If you be mad, be gone: if you have reason, be brief. Twelfth Night, 1. 5

AND NOW FEW  FROM ME-  Thou brain stew will kill witches
Thee voice croak so much that snakes died looking for frog
Thou stink kill maggots
Thy face scare zoombies
  • remember to memorise them in front of mirror so that you can work on your style too
  • use it often so you become a platinum @#$%er
  • remember surprise and confusions can be great weapons and thats what we have to use
  • you dont just want to insult someone, you want them to be confused so that you get time to rescue you ass
  • run for your life after you have used them ( lets admit if you needed these, you clearly are no big scary shot so run while the opponent is still trying to decipher)
  • always carry explosives……….just in case……..Hey  you never know!!!
have fun improvise but don’t thee/thou try use it on me,Thou shall not survive .

About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

6 responses »

  1. Love your blogs. They are clever and I look for them with anticipation. Digging around in your 2011 stuff now.

    Reply
  2. ‘Is his head worth a hat? Or his chin worth a beard?’

    The ultimate insult! Haha

    Reply
  3. Hahah this is superb!😀

    Reply
  4. Why didn’t I think of an idea so avante-garde?
    or I could have tried a little more hard
    in school to master the bard
    reading your blog has its reward.🙂

    Reply
  5. Cleverly written. I think I like: Away, you bottle-ale rascal, the best.

    Reply
  6. i liked yours better than Shakespeare’s.You funny wicked brain.Dying to get a chance to use any one of these.My favorite is..
    ‘Thee voice croak so much that snakes died looking for frog’

    Reply

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