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All my life I have believed in three things dreams, hard work and value of time.
you dream your dreams
you work hard for them
and then the time plays magic
and paints your world with them
I truly believe if you want something real bad and work for it with whole heart and soul universe creates some magic portals just for you to make it possible:-)
you need is faith and patience
It’s this faith in dreams that made me ready for most of the things in life…like the incredible journey of AUTISM with my daughter
Journey of Autism is paved with adventures and magic.
The very breeze that caresses us,
the  sunshine that falls on us carry with them keys to open new doors
they inspire and encourage us to do more
show us the power of  perseverance and patience
Its like knitting…. or solving a puzzle
or may be something more complicated like peeling onion layer by layer
but does it only bring tears???
nope not if you understand your child
and know how to see the world through his/her eyes
Learn that language which will bridge the gap between you two and create this unbreakable bond of trust patience and love
It has taken a long time to gain Bonita’s( my daughter)  complete trust in me..
I stood by every word I said …small and big promises I made
I understood what she said but more of what she didn’t but wanted to..
and things that made her happy and/or irritated her.
of course there have been failures and set backs but then isn’t it same with every win some you lose some..but what matters really is what you did after you lost… did you spend days crying over it got up and made the best of what you had …
 I have still a lot to learn but for now I want to share what ever I have in my pocket
when I am around Bonita and now it has become more of a habit even when she is not there that I don’t care about being all age appropriate or what others will think or say..cos some people will stare and talk rubbish..but when you succeed in something same people will be clapping so forget them and do your best.
we play,dance, sing,paint on each others faces, make weird hairstyles ,act like diva from hell… snapping fingers at each other and being loud, laugh, study, fight..oh its a madhouse and my house is mess but we are happy:-)
but it’s not just fun there are some things we have had to learn fast..
one thing which every one should avoid is power play which takes you no where and is such a waste of time instead we should find a way.. some other route to reach where we want to…
Another important thing is watch what comes out of your mouth…yup every thing..
every thing you promise…if our 5 minutes is going to be half an hour then a kids five minutes may take two days…so practice what you preach all the times…..seriously you can’t expect your kids to be all prim and proper when you are a huge pile of mess..behave your self first..
raising a kid is quite a journey
the work, long hours is second to none
but the success depends how well you
blended the hard work and fun:-)
another important thing is even if your child is hugely gifted don’t over do things…….
In one of the school functions they made the school choir( my daughter is a lead singer) sing some 10 songs…but after 3rd song all the kids were so irritated and although they kept singing but they were making faces, two of them just left the stage,one of them started howling out the song and had to be taken out of the stage and my daughter ….oh man she was singing but the expressions on her face….they were priceless….it was funny and sad both…
Then there are those sensory issues like cutting hair,or nails..they take time, lot of kids are scared of buzzing noise of bees and well as the welding machines so if they get hyper check out for noise…..and try comforting them and/or do something to cut the noise.
But one thing I am sure a lot of kids hate is that even if your child is a chubby little angel from heaven don’t treat them a s teddy bears..some people suffocate kids with hugs, kisses and pulling don’t love too much of it …seriously and no kid likes cheek being least the ones I know hate it…
I  can go on writing a hundred things more but one thing which is important will always be-
know your child,spend more time with them
your kids are watching you all the time take good care of yourself if you want them to have a good future
you don’t have to be their best friend but be there in their circle so that they have the comfort of knowing you are and will be there when one day or time they will need you
Before I go I want to tell few Lil things to every parent with a kid with autism-
1) Search  in you and find a hobby…you need one …anything painting,dancing,blogging whatever soothes your nerves relaxes you..but do something just for yourselves.
2) some need therapy,some need pill and some need both therapy and pill but for any of it to work you have to accept your kids and come out
3) Autism is not about what you did, it’s about what you do next,…so make smart choices take help early intervention works wonder
4) try spread awareness about Autism around you but don’t get angry with people who don’t get you…( if someone is rude, then its exception) but otherwise before letting out that angry outburst ask your self how much do you care about kids with cancer,kid who is blind, or even normal but orphan kids…we care about autism because autism is family but would you have cared this much had you child not being Autistic?? 🙂
This post is a bit heavy I know …will keep the rest for some other time
Till then hugs and happy 13 Friday..
Hey do remember to avoid anything 13 flavours of ice-cream in one cone..did you say you don’t,,,, really!!!
you mean no body does .OK I didn’t say that:-)

About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

24 responses »

  1. Dear Soma, you are such an inspiration and an amazing Mother. Thank you for sharing a part of your journey with your beautiful Daughter with us. 🙂

  2. It is obvious that you two are made for each other
    a beautiful daughter and a lovely mother
    You both can kick this autism together
    best wishes from a well wisher.

    Soma I am so proud of you.

  3. Soma, this is a beautiful post about the love you have for your daughter. It shows what a truly wonderful Mother you are and you are inspiring to all of us. Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts, ideas, advice and for bringing awareness about autism. Keep it up; your daughter is beautiful, too, and she is a lucky girl to have you fighting for her~Hugs!

  4. You truly are amazing, just as much a Magic child as she is 🙂 Keep the spirits up! I do admire you!

  5. What A great Ideas my friend i love it 🙂

  6. “I stood by every word I said …small and big promises I made
    I understood what she said but more of what she didn’t but wanted to..
    and things that made her happy and/or irritated her.
    of course there have been failures and set backs but then isn’t it same with every win some you lose some..but what matters really is what you did after you lost… did you spend days crying over it got up and made the best of what you had …” and I am a witness to all your hard work and positivity my dear. God bless you and Bonita .

  7. “you dream your dreams
    your work hard for them
    and then the time plays magic
    and paints your world with them”

    A lovely thought here, Soma. Your words are encouraging and wonderful. I appreciate your beautiful spirit!

  8. There is a lot of love in this post. Write my friend write.

  9. For such a lovely blog and a lovely writer, I’m nominating you for the One Lovely Blog Award! 🙂
    Peace & grace,

  10. I can see through your delightful words that you are very passionate about your daughter and that is something very nice my friend, I guess there will be many that are rather ignorant about autism and not understand the complexities, perhaps they react out of discrimination or prejudice, or simply that they cannot fathom the realities of living with an autistic child and feel embarrassed not knowing what to say or do.

    You have certainly come a long way in the understanding of autism and are still learning as each day comes, an ongoing reality in a rewarding and sweet life that adds pleasurable moments but with an understanding of knowing how to react and to enjoy every day. Indeed it is positivity and optimism with every learning phase and what a wonderful posting that offers a glimpse into your world, where hopes and dreams are realised on a daily basis.

    Thank you for offering this excellent posting Soma and do have a truly exciting weekend…

    Androgoth Xx

  11. Blood-Ink-Diary

    Soma, this is not just heartfelt but profound in all senses. Am so grateful that you have shared your and Bonita’s journey with the rest of us. Very beautifully expressed with strength, honesty and resilience — at a girl !!!! Am glad you wrote your reflections, as often times our South Asian culture likes to keep any isues in the closet and pretend all is well — am with you for autism advocacy and we should collectively contribute to awareness. Keep inspiring my dear friend! Cheers & love.

  12. This is just wonderful you staying so positive as you have been…Keep it up, never give up, and watch your world evolve….Excellent ideas!
    Hugs, xx

  13. Wonderful positive ideas and thoughts Soma.


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