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Boink-Ouch-Aha-Gravity

It’s a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they’d just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. ~Steven Wright
Most of us have studied law of gravitation by Newton when we were kids..those who haven’t are the blessed and the chosen ones.
Those who have ..have you ever wondered where was Newton when he discovered Gravity…some say he saw an apple fall while sipping some tea and some say an apple fell on his head and had an aha  moment….. but  whose orchard or garden was it.( not Newtons i know that for sure)
what happened to  the person whose apple orchard it actually was? what was Newton doing sitting there?
( Physics would have been much easier if it was a tree not apple that fell on newton that day)
anyways so the owner of the orchard, did he kick his butt for not thinking of gravity first, clearly he must have seen at least one apple fall even if  he had all the servants in the world ..
It was his apple tree
newton said gravity
he remembered saying Bumpity
which every one ignored
 Oh how naive and how late was he
the owner then kicked his own butt
(did he divorce his wife for not chatting with Newton enough and distract him with her ususal bibble babble)
it was his apple tree
 newton said gravity
his wife who loved dominating others
how could she let newton have his way with it
Bumpity wilted in the scorching heat of indifference
Oh how naive and how late was he
the owner then kicked his butt
and  divorced his wife
(did he fire his butler for not attending to the guest properly and leaving him all by himself  to use his brain when it was clearly not needed in an orchard)
after all it was his apple tree
 where Newton said gravity
his butler who was always standing on his head
showing off his impeccable manners
was no where to be seen
when Gravity kicked Bumpity out
how naive and how late was he
the owner then kicked his butt
divorced his wife
and fired his butler
(did he shoot his gardener, after all he was paid a large sum for taking care of the trees and to see no one ever thinks physics in those orchards and he just let a man sit and earn fame from an apple that fell down.)
as i said earlier it was his apple tree
and the gardener this time didn’t just steal some apples
like he always did
this was murdering ruthlessly
what was clearly his thought
Bumpity killed by the bully Gravity
oh how naive and how late was he
the owner then kicked his butt
divorced his wife
fired his butler
and shot his gardener
(did he fight the police when they handcuffed him and took him to prison, was he ever given a fair trial now that newton knew who he was,did he hire the best lawyer)
Every lawyer laughed
at the very mention of bumpity
he did every thing he could
 but he was so late
did break law too
didn’t he
was screaming
all the way to prison.
His epitaph reads
“I said Bumpity and that apple was mine”
it was his apple tree
newton said gravity….
bumpity would have been a cool physics word
oh the poor guy
Anyways so Moral of the story-Take care of your orchards,Gardens,House, Blogs, cos you never know when your ‘Bumpity’ will become someone Else’s ‘Gravity’.
Have a great day and watch your back,butler,spouse and gardener and shoot anyone sitting under your tree.

About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

85 responses »

  1. lol!! awesome post! 🙂

    Reply
  2. I had to take the lift all the way down here Soma but it was worth it just to let you know that this is a very enjoyable posting 🙂 Hey, and I hope that you are being good, well a little more than normal anyway 😉 lol

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
  3. This is awesome, Soma! I used to live near an orchard, ironically named George’s Orchard. It wasn’t mine. 🙂

    Reply
  4. The cast of “The Big Bang Theory” would love this one!

    Reply
  5. 😀 😀 😀

    Yup, sometimes fate can play wicked games with you. Poor poor orchard owner guy. Lucky damn newton.

    Reply
  6. word hug to you for making me smile…you’re quite a clever wordsmith, Soma ~

    Reply
  7. Blood-Ink-Diary

    Whay a witty, charming and brilliant post! Those apples! Wonder why it was not aam (mangoes!). lol. Somi, I relish your posts, always making me laugh when needed and thought provoking at other times. (p.s check your email – sent you something!). Love ya sis!

    Reply
  8. Soma, is this your poem? love the physics lesson. continue…

    Reply
  9. I nominated you for an award, congrats!! Hugs, Autumn ♥

    Reply
  10. I don’t know whether to keep laughing over bumpity being stolen by gravity or go and research the law of equal and opposite reactions!

    Reply
  11. *ting ting* I am sharing this, love!! ❤ ^_^

    Reply
  12. Soma what a wonderful post!…….very nice day and smile….
    😉

    Reply
  13. The quote, the tall tale, the poem, awe-darned-and-some, and the fantastic observation that the tree should have fallen on Newton, woohoooooooo 😀 I love this to death. Trust you to perk up anything, even Physics and the dratted Newton 😀

    Reply
  14. Cromwellsheart

    Having been internet absent for a few days to cleanse my mind, well what do I read on my return?
    Pure Soma madness, beautiful, witty and charming escapism from the best 🙂

    Reply
    • OMG CW where have you been. you have been missed.so many times i looked for your site just to see if you decided to come back.Its so nice to see you 🙂
      Thank you so much CW 🙂

      Reply
      • Cromwellsheart

        Well my blog appears to have been hacked, or so my daughter said. I guess someone took exception to things I was saying ( again! )
        I have not got the energy to start another yet so will hang on to your shirt tails if thats ok? 🙂

        Reply
  15. I envision this being sung in a pub after many pints by a room full of physicists at a physics convention.

    Reply
  16. Good thing it wasn’t a coconut tree …. and I know why, I think > was it because every coconut tree had a couple running around (in slow motion) singing and dancing…love is in the air.

    All in good humour Soma – especially loved this post 🙂

    Reply
    • OMG Eric you are so funny..oh i wish it was coconut too..he would have discovered something else
      but you are right all the coconut trees are surrounded by couples dacing around 😆
      Thanks Eric 🙂

      Reply
  17. Oh Soma, I did love this one…Laughing all the way through it! What a fun and wonderfully amusing read, you never disappoint us…Yay and keep writing these gems! 🙂 Hugs 🙂

    Reply
  18. What a wonderful post! I like too much and i smile with an air of amusement.

    Reply
  19. Dear Soma, I loved reading about Bumpity and your take on gravity.
    Hugs

    Reply
  20. Hi Soma!
    What a post!! Great…Hilarious to the core…and the pun is simply superb.
    You are immensely witty…and that shows in your writings very clearly!
    After making the reader roll on the floor laughing, in the end you slid the moral mildly: “Take care of your orchards,Gardens,House, Blogs, cos you never know when your ‘Bumpity’ will become someone Else’s ‘Gravity’.” Couldn’t be a better way to end the post! The motive of the post is encased clandestinely in the prose-poetry amalgamation, and yet upfront it just appears as pure hilarious vengeance on physics, and poor Newton. 🙂 😉

    Well Done again….and I loved your post, again!
    Love and Hugs..to Bonita and her super Mom:)

    Reply
  21. What a fun writing 🙂 this is wonderful, it really made my day! I love it!!! So funny 🙂 Soma, you really have the gift of humor! hugs n love

    Reply
  22. SO CLEVER ! SO WHIMSICAL ! SO BRIGHT !!! XX
    WORD HUG OF THE DAY FOR YOU …….. XX
    YOU ARE GENIUS !!!!!!!

    Reply
  23. You are so clever and quirky! Love it. 🙂

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  24. Soma, you are the finest that weirdness has to offer 🙂 Enjoy your day, and makes sure you look up often. Perhaps you could wear a hard hat???

    Reply
  25. Haha, you always make me laugh, Soma!…and ponder.

    Much love and hugs to you, my friend ♥ xx

    Reply
  26. Soma, another A1 post! You know, I had an older relation who said we were related to Isaac Newton – but that was before we found out he didn’t have any kids! (although I suppose we might be descended from one of his siblings???) 🙂

    Reply
    • OMg david really! wow how exciting it must have been when you found out..I mean being related to Sir Isaac Newton..oh man i would have flaunted it and may be put a sticker on my forehead or tattoo there.
      Do tell more when you have time..lineage and every thing

      Reply
  27. Such a good point for pondering….OUCH! Dang gravity…Too funny!

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  28. Soma, where do you store all this ability
    to write such insanity, not to forget the audacity
    but your post should be saved for posterity
    to record what all was lost for the sake of gravity.

    Reply
  29. Newton must be squirming in his grave. OMG Soma you make me laugh so much.No one thought about poor orchard owner, his soul will thank you.

    Reply
    • 😆 Ma i hope he squirms in his grave , Newton and his buddies gave me tough time in school..this is revenge of wehatephysics.org
      we shall hate it even if we understood it-our motto

      Reply
  30. The world now (or, at least, our part of it) is thinking about Newton and his poor little apple. I have always pictured that particular things (the apple on the head) and never thought about the where of it all. Wonderful point of view poem. You write well. I have wondered if, sometime, for a post, I should share a bit of what I write? We shall see…
    Namaste,
    Scott

    Reply
    • Scott you are amazingly gifted you should share your work on the blog. After all both are yours the blog and the stories. They will help you promote your work too..That is if you need that at all
      Thanks Scott 🙂

      Reply
  31. was not expecting to see a stephen wright quote today, so that was a great, unexpected surprise. about the newton poem, is that yours? i never saw that before, but i loved your examination of it. thanks.

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  32. and i m loving your header image!!

    Reply
  33. 😀 that was awsome!! i always cursed the tree that dint fall on newton and dropped its apple instead but never did i wonder anything about the owner of the orchard

    Reply
  34. LOL. I agree with ‘megsx’ … a very clever post.

    Reply
  35. Besides Gravitational force,that poor gentleman also in his third law of motion pronounced “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. PITY- NEWTON never ever in his wildest imagination anticipate that A lady named SOMA, will one day express her marvelous analogical and analytical conclusion of the after effect of gravity-inventor and associates poor helpers.—I am amazed .

    Reply
    • Ha ha ha Dad ..ya took revenge from the Physics Uncle using his laws 🙂
      physics tormented me for years and i never quite understood why i had to go through all those mind boggling equations
      will not let newton’s soul be in peace

      Reply
  36. Hi,
    What a clever post, I love how you had done this, and now I am wondering about the owner of the apple tree. 😀

    Reply
  37. You are weirder than me 🙂

    Reply

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