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The Bitter Angels

She was born sometime in summer of 72. No one knows when, not that they ever wanted to keep that record. When your parents are poor,craving for a son,and you the fourth kid is also born a girl,you are lucky if instead of dumping you in a garbage can, they bring you home and feed you twice or thrice a day.
A baby,toddler,little kid understands two things very clearly- the feeling of being loved and not being loved.
she was not an exception
From the very day she started understanding anything, she knew she was not welcomed but then neither were her other sisters or mother. All of them lived with her father and his parents as if some big favour was done by allowing them to have shelter and food despite her mothers great crime of having four girls.
It was a small tin,rag house( hut made from anything they could find)near a pipeline where every one had just one room,toilets meant where ever you find some space behind the bushes ,walls,railway tracks….
These are places where sitting inside your “house ” you can hear and sometimes even feel what your neighbour is going through…so absolutely no privacy there…
Her mother was beaten/thrashed almost everyday,in fact every mother in that locality was beaten/abused everyday..
well women are women and men need to vent their lust and anger and that is why they get married( sorry forgot also for free services like cooking,cleaning etc)
A woman would be lucky if her husband after beating her would tell her he didn’t mean to cos he loved her and then show her the physical side of it,that is if he still had energy left after trying to kill or discipline his wife,and as for her all she had to do was to let him.
She was growing up believing whatever she saw around her was her future too and if and when she gets married she must give a son to her husband’s family to be considered lucky.
In the mean time her Father remarried and moved to another tin house with his new bride in hope of having a son. That also meant her mom had to start working and that she did by washing and cleaning at others houses.So did her two elder sisters and soon the other two were also going to join them.
and down came an angel in that filthy little space
one bitter afternoon a woman knocked at their door and requested their mother to let the kids study in schools. They didn’t know her,in fact no one in that slum knew her. she was, she said a worker from education awareness scheme for girl child,which made no sense to anyone.
Cos what is a girl child ?
a girl is a girl a burden but never a child.
anyways the woman didn’t give up and after few days of relentless pursuing her mom agreed to send just one kid to school but on condition that she would never pay for anything,the woman agreed.
She didn’t know but her life was going to change.
At this point i don’t know to cut short or elaborate. i think i will cut it short.
she was a good student,scored enough marks in her school to get scholarship in college, and then with help from another institute gave an entrance test and got a good job in Bank. ( sounds easy but it was not,specially when every meal you have,every cloth you wear is someone elses and you are made aware of it every time, when you know the negative forces of society are way too powerful than the gravitational pull)
Very few survive that kind of antagonistic environment luckily she was amongst the winners.
Today she is going to sign a form. A form which will allow 10 girls like her to get education,she would pay for that of course. Something which had been in her ‘to do list’ for a long time now. she looked at her mom who has been living with her for some time now,she smiled at her and then thought if she could do something more for her sisters but by the time she got the job all three of them had being married to that filthy life. she does help them financially whenever she can,but is not enough and by the looks of it,it will never be enough.
Today as she signs the paper, range of emotions play in her head. sadness,bitter thoughts, rage,and then finally some peace that she would be able to make difference in at least some lives.
she also thought of her father and other people like him…bitter memories danced and left a scar on her taste buds.
Some say its important that you forgive to move forward and have some peace. she says for her it is this bitterness that never lets her forget her mission,her past is not something she can change but to make peace with it would mean to be ok with it. she doesn’t want that. she wants that scar to motivate her and she will earn her peace by signing more forms by giving better future to other girls.
Today she is an angel, bitter angel on a mission
finding peace piece by piece
with every good deed.
she will not stop
she will not rest
she will not look back and cry
she has tasted freedom
and she will give that chance to every little girl
she has forms to sign
and with every form she signs
she will give herself one more chance
she will one day have an army of angels
angels like her
may be bitter
may be not
but an army of angels
creating a new world for every girl
so that all their choices get a chance
an army of girls
of women
of the ones who are called the ‘fairer sex’
and treated so shabbily
she will one day
she will…..
she will.
© somkritya
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About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

92 responses »

  1. I believe this to be the plight of so many young women often forced into a marriage that is not of a loving relationship but pushed upon a young girl, not able to choose her path in life and through this neglectful and most horrifying way of succession it must be immeasurably unbearable, all the negativity, sadness and unfulfilling moments crushing her inner peace. The beatings, abuse of more than one level ever increasing and all she can do is to dream of a better existence, how cruel a life is that my great friend…

    Your truism holds many thoughts and gives hope to all those young girls wishing to break with tradition, adding a lifeline to a more optimistic and fruitful life in the world, one where she is loved and taken care of by her man, not physically and mentally abused, but offered real love and affection that is the foundation for a lifetime of loving…

    Thank you for offering such a most powerful posting
    that offers food for thought and a compassionate edge 🙂

    Have a lovely day today my sweet friend 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
  2. The quietness of this is powerful, Soma. She moves in a world of silence, yet finds her voice by granting wings to others. Mayhap, the day shall soon come when the silence is forever broken in a victorious choir of angelic female voices.
    Red.
    xxx

    Reply
  3. Noble, compelling and appropriate. Keep at it, Soma!

    Reply
  4. So strange the world is … it considers waste as a treasure and beauty, wisdom and love as a waste … because we all know, don’t we, that it is women who will participate the most actively – should I say ‘lead’ – to change?

    Reply
  5. its sad how people mean that to have a child means to have a boy and never are they contended with a girl. Thank God! That I am a lucky one and so are my 4 sisters whom my father loves more than anything!

    Reply
  6. It’s hard to believe people–girls–still have to live like this. Compellingly told. And the ending at least gives some hope that these horrible conditions will one day be eradicated.

    Reply
  7. So true! This is the story of many girls and the sperm donors little do they think about their genetic contribution…glad that lady got rescued by education! Awareness, education and sociological changes are still needed.
    Right on my friend… a good message from you!

    I have seen many immigrant girls go through such treatment at home. One would think education is a leveler but not in some families .
    There are many South Asian organizations, like Maithree, which help such Indian women in the US

    Reply
  8. Some! This is such a wonderful post!! Its compelling and strong and courageous!! Extremely well written! 🙂 Love it!

    Reply
  9. Very well written Soma and quite revealing.

    Reply
  10. From pain comes strength, sometimes from bitter comes sweet. From generations of abuse, sometimes we break the chain. This was terrible and wonderful, I liked it because it was both.

    Someday, someday we will break these chains of abuse and neglect not just individually but culturally. Not just nationally but internationally. You wrote this beautifully.

    Reply
  11. not just her I say so too, not to forget the past and the bad becasue that will keep us moving and doing what we are doing .. if we forget then we might become lazy and Not do something good

    so remember it and the good that she has started to do , she will do it all her life

    beautiful article heart felt , and loved the poem too SHE is indeed a beautiful human being

    Reply
    • Bikram I agree with you some times that anger acts as a fuel…and yes you are so right we forget pain and we start enjoying the luxury,not that it is bad but then helping others to get out ,fight agaisnt the injustice needs some part of past to be alive and pinching …

      Thank you so mcuh Bikram 🙂

      Reply
  12. A touching, powerful, struggle … tough to read, but worth the read.

    Reply
  13. You knocked it out of the park with the title alone!
    Great work!

    Reply
  14. You struck a chord here Soma. Education, education, education – of both girls AND boys. The boys need to understand that women are EQUAL! Sadly this mentality is rife, especially it seems amongst those that call themselves righteous – go figure. Still, I feel for this woman now because she clings to her bitterness thinking that is what drives her on, but she condemns herself to a life of pain. She can find her motivation in another way even if she forgave the sins of her father and that society. They are uneducated, they are indoctrinated, they are scared and this is why they oppress. That’s not condoning it, it is just trying to understand it. When we understand we can forgive (not forget). Then our hearts will reach out to all that are tormented by their circumstances. Beautiful, heart wrenching post.

    Reply
    • I know what you are saying Stuart but i am talking about a girl who has seen nothing but ugly side of life..i think it will take time for her to heal..its a process and i think giving others chance will make her understand that and bring that change..i am more than happy she completed her studies cos when i first saw her she was this bottled up angry little kid,it took me time to get to her…
      Thank you so much for this lovely comment Stuart

      Reply
  15. -beautiful write,beautful mother…..very nice Soma….
    😉

    Reply
  16. What a powerful look into the emotions behind the neglect and silent oppression of women, and the struggle that girls in many parts of the world face just because of who they are. What a shame that so many girls – so much talent and wisdom – is lost to gender prejudice.

    Reply
  17. wondefully written, we want wives, girl freinds, mothers but not the duaghters. its sad.

    Reply
    • Nirmal what a lovely comment isnt it funny how will one get all those if you don’t allow a daughter to come in this world…
      Thank you so much 🙂

      Reply
      • you are right, i think we need to go back to nature and religion to learn how to live. look at scriptures, ladies are always first e.g radhakrishn, seetaraam. even we say our country is a mother (femine), but deep dwon we dont want to have them as daughters. and trust me its a daugher who care more for their father.

        Reply
  18. Still a terrible reality for so many, Soma…The calendar says 2012, but the calendar can be so meaningless. You take care of yourself.

    Reply
    • You are so right Kathryn it seems time has stood still when it comes to women empowerment or their rights and in most cases it has gone so bad that you can’t even put any era tag on it..never has a women being so humiliated,abused as they are today..its going to be a long fight

      Reply
  19. that was both difficult and necessary to read.

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  20. Soma…I love your strength here…not just caring that you made it…but making sure that others will too…inspiring…truly is….

    Reply
    • Thanks David there are hundreds and thousands of women who go through much much worse..i really admire women who fight against such odds and not only come out but help others

      Reply
  21. You keep shining that light of yours. Bring light to the darkest of places, and hope, and inspiration. Through your words weave us stories that make us think, remember, and pause. You magical story teller with a heart of an angel. Much love, Sam 🙂

    Reply
    • Thanks Sam although this is based on life of someone I know…there are hundreds who will go through much worse today and every other day..till women stand up for each other..

      Reply
  22. Sadly what you write about is so true. In many countries women and girls are treated as less than chattels.

    As a young man, I sometimes dreamt of avenging all the girls and boys who were ill-treated by society – yes, the black clothed crusader. You’re reading Mechanic Leigh, so you know.

    Then, I became no better than most middle class people – I read, feel sorry, sigh and turn to the sports page…isn’t that what most self righteous people do?

    Now, I try to do something. Will look stupid in black clothes – the criminals will probably laugh to death. No, I had to do something else…

    So It write and weave into my books the social ills – especially those suffered by women and children.

    Blogging is another avenue – what you wrote her Soma dear, needs writing and needs highlighting.

    Peace, Eric

    Reply
    • You said it Eric all of us have to keep doing whatever we can..write,make noise,inspire through words,through stories and poems…we have to,I have enrolled some girls in nearby schools i hope they will be able to finish their studies and not drop out..

      Reply
  23. Strong and powerful story of this bitter angel so lovely and caring, Soma, and it is sad knowing that children don’t have a say as to which family they will be born into. Wonderfully written! Hugs and Blessings~xo

    Reply
  24. So very beautifully written Soma, the angel on a mission and she will save all the girls! It was heart breaking to think of how this is true and girls are thought to be less…I am just in awe of your words and the power behind them.

    Reply
    • Gabby it is based on a true story..real life events although i didnt write the parts which could have made you cringe and cry…there are parts of world where Women have lesser rights than a cattle.
      Thanks Gabby 🙂

      Reply
  25. beautiful write! I feel the caring heart of one that i have grown to appreciate because of her beautiful heart and soul! Its amazing sometimes how one is chosen for a future path that will enlighten their lives forever! Very beautiful Soma!

    Reply
    • Thanks Wendell this world has so much love and beauty around,and all of us have to do whatever we can to spread awareness and love around…for every human deserves a friend

      Reply
  26. Loved, loved, loved that story of yours,…powerful!!!! Terri

    Reply
  27. Excellent work Som 🙂

    Reply
  28. I do not like it when husbands or anyone thinks they have so much right over someone else that they believe they can hurt them or put them down. I fought hard at school in the classroom and most of the students, even, at times, the girls, did not understand completely why I thought it wrong. I thought that wrong more than anything.
    Good post, hurt a little to read it.
    Scott

    Reply
  29. beautiful work….held my attention which is hard to do on anything longer than 2 paragraphs..haha

    Reply
    • 🙂 i understand in fact i am just like you
      am so glad you could sit through all of it. i was actually wondering if it got a bit too long ..
      You are a beautiful soul doing so much for people who need you..
      Thanks 🙂

      Reply
  30. Soma this is just a wonderfully written piece, I couldn’t stop reading 🙂 This is so true and girl angels need attention too. I truly love your writing always, and this one touched my heart.

    Reply
    • Thanks Autumn and I know you twinnies are as sensitive about it as I am …there are so many women treated much much worse than cattles…they need love,help,a friend and most importantly education..so much to do….

      Reply
  31. Hi,
    A very powerful post, and you have written this so well, I was riveted right to the end, an amazing story.

    Reply
  32. Well that was super heart-felt, Soma! She was very fortunate to survive such and awful life. She was touched by an angel and became one herself. xo

    Reply
    • Oh she is and there are girls like her who have seen all kinds of abuse and to fight against all that and not only stand up for themselves but for others is one hell of a tough job…
      Thanks Deb 🙂

      Reply
  33. A wonderful, encouraging story about that girl angel. A true ministering spirit she is. A real Joan of Arc in leading the way to education and improvement of life for girls.

    Reply
    • You said it better Rose they are Joan of Arcs..and when i heard what they have gone through..i was in tears…I wish those girls all the best, hope they complete their education

      Reply
  34. Very beautifully written

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  35. My heart bleeds, yet I feel very encouraged…

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  36. Wow Soma, just wow! Words fail me after reading such a moving post from you. All I can say is amen to the angel’s wish. May we be blessed with more and more angels like her!

    Hugs!

    Reply
  37. It is so heartening to see girls actually lift themselves out of that quagmire! Thank you for a powerful and deeply moving post Soma.

    Reply
  38. STRONG SOMA
    SOOOOO STRONG
    I FELT YOUR EVERY WORD …………….
    I FELT YOUR PASSION
    YOUR CONVICTION
    “THE ANTAGONIST ENVIRONMENT ”
    THAT’S GENIUS ……
    THE WORLD IS LIKE THAT ISN’T IT …………
    BUT YOU RISE SOMA STAR …………
    YOU DO ……..
    XO
    LOVE YOU ……….
    I REALLY SEE YOU AS SOMEONE WHOM HAS MANY MANY A GUARDIAN ANGEL AROUND HER ……
    AND YOU ARE ONE OF MY GUARDIAN ANGELS ….. I FEEL THAT WAY …….
    LIKE DEB – SOUL SISTERS XX
    THERE IS THIS COOL SONG “INNOCENT ”
    I LOVE IT ………….BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF YOUR COURAGE AND TO STAY COURAGEOUS XO

    AND I LOVE YOU XOXOXO

    Reply
    • Wow Cat its such a lovely song…
      Cat its not a woman friendly world and we have to make it not just that but much more than that…
      Thanks Sista 🙂

      Reply
      • I KNOW SOMA ……..
        BUT FRIENDLINESS MAKES MORE FRIENDLINESS …….
        AND HEARTS OPEN WHEN YOURS IS ……
        YOU SEE IT RIGHT – ? XO
        LIKE WHEN YOU POUR YOUR BEAUTIFUL HEART OUT – IT MAKES MORE BEAUTY …….
        AND I STILL BELIEVE THAT LOVE CONQUERS ALL XO
        I WON’T EVER EVER STOP BELIEVING THAT ……….
        NO MATTER WHAT …….
        LOVE YOU MY SISTA XO

        Reply
  39. An angel descends for all the exploited’s sake
    and for half the people in the world that we forsake
    Like small drops do an ocean make
    and a tiny movement causes a mighty quake
    let her movement shake the world awake.

    Reply
  40. What an amazingly strong piece. It is so casually brutal and plain and honest. It makes you aware that not everyone has a good situation in life and that they may not have done anything to get there, apart from being born. Thankfully there are others who are able to help lift women and children out of desparate situations. Thank you for the awareness.

    Reply
    • Some times you cant help but be as blunt and brutal as life…but these girls have sufffered much much more..which i could not write…hope fully other girls will not have to go through all that
      Thank Steven 🙂

      Reply
  41. Hi, this is great writing! Thank you for the follow as well! The writer always knows the end of the story, but starts from the beginning anyway! Keep writing!

    Reply
  42. Soma,it is a very touching story of sweet bitter angel ,so many girls suffer like this but how many get a chance. Bitter angel is on the right mission.

    Reply
  43. Very well written – in many ways it could be saying that – “what does not kill you, will make you strongere” – thanks for sharing…

    Reply
  44. She did and is still doing a great job…she is a success by any standards. She knows what her purpose is, she is walking in it and sowing seeds of benefits in others….you can’t get more successful than that. Thanks for sharing this, very well written…

    Reply

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