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The Juggler Smuggler

If you are smuggling hash you have already proven your stupidity try not to add anything to it.
[The Juggler Smuggler, an episode from National Geographic Banged up abroad chronicles Mark Greening, who enjoys a comfortable life in Bali, as a magician.  upon discovering he is a father to be, he feels a need to seek out quick cash for his looming obligations. He agrees to smuggle a kilo of hash from Nepal in a pellet form that he swallows.  As an experienced magician he quickly masters the task.  Having made approximately $80,000 from such drug smuggling, he makes an ill-fated trip to  Nepal. Temporarily ill and unable to swallow the pellets this time, he takes a risk and body-packs the hash.  He gets busted in Tokyo, Japan where he was unable to pass through enhanced airport security for the soccer World Cup.]
~ National Geographic
Juggler smuggler was a man of faith, he believed in lot of good things, like hash, like visiting fortune-teller before every hash/Nepal trip, seeking blessings from the hotel owner in form of ash Tikka ( a mark worn on forehead) before returning Japan with hash pellets in stomach.
you would wonder how and why would a man of such strong beliefs get busted the fifth time he tries smuggling. 😯
Well today is your lucky day as I saw this programme twice and  noted down the dont’s of the trade( which are more important if you dream of being a smuggler) Lets see what happened in that trip which now is known as “when luck kicks your ass trip”
1) When he went to know his fortune before the fifth trip but  could not find that fortune-teller, she didn’t turn up that day.
2) The golden rule of smuggling hash is never body pack hash  so our hero used to make small pellets of hash and swallow them and then come back and take them out via the anal route but on that ill-fated trip he had diarrhoea. He tried,  gave it an honest try but could not swallow the pellets and hence body packed them.
3) The Juggler smuggler used to stay in the same hotel every time and when he would check out the hotel owner would give him an ash tikka on his forehead as a sign of blessings of gods but this time the hotel owner was not there.
4) It was world cup football In japan and hence the airport security was tight they were checking every thing and that he has kept hash in a bag and hid it in back pocket of his trouser…..
5) He had half of the hash in the juggling balls which the custom officials didn’t know about, but he told them that later to get in good books only to know later the sentence was based on Quantity of hash….. yikes

See my forehead, no ash tikka, no blessings
Hindu Gods aint that co-operative

Told them I have more Hash in the juggling balls and they increased my sentence—- Japanese I tell you
hilarious ROFL ha ha ha

Moral of the story-( for the aspiring smugglers only)
1) Never show magic tricks to the custom officials when caught for hash smuggling,that is one-act you wont be rewarded for
2) When giving an interview in for the television later don’t try act funny cos it ain’t an audition for stand up comedian.
 and oh  Never forget even for a second that in the list of do’s and don’ts YOU are a DON’T.

About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

88 responses »

  1. Where is the Re-blog button, dear? Miss you so much.

  2. Gives whole new meaning to the English expression, “making a hash of things.” lol

  3. I wonder how I missed this post dear. No comment from me? Hilarious. Love your writing, come back, please.

  4. When somebody writes an publish he/she maintains the graphic of your consumer within the creative thinking that the way the client can understand about it.
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  5. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    Oh my goodness, what a tale!!

    It seems like he was BLESSED with all the right signs – no fortune teller, tika & so on. Isn’t it amazing how we so resolutely IGNORE signs, just close off from instincts. My gosh, how many years did he first get & what was it increased to – do you know? This was a funny but sorry tale, but then again it was drugs, so, a good tale!

    Loved this one, Somkritya 🙂

  6. Magic doesn’t always work, as you’re likely to make a hash of it if you’re juggling too many balls in the air!

  7. Funny one:-)
    Haven’t seen you in while, hope all is well Soma. Take care.

  8. Listen You Soma Star and the Unconditionals ……..
    i found another song with YOUR NAME 🙂
    just a little note today
    to tell you i am thinking about You
    and you are an Unconditional woman
    and You are a warrior of love and light
    and you are a gift to the universe
    and you are someone i would like to have live next door
    and you are a heart within a heart
    a dream star within many a mind
    you better know this by now
    how much you are loved xo
    you were loved before you were born
    This cat aint leaving anytime soon
    this cat knows you know what i mean
    this cat dreams of a utopian world
    this cat loves you and your heart
    which are one …………
    love you
    come back soon xo
    i am always here xx

    • Aww Cat you pamper n spoil me so much..what a lovely thing to say…oh how i wish we were in the same time sphere..
      but know that i love you …you are such a darling friend ..thank you for all the lovely heart warming wishes and love
      Muah Big hugs sista 🙂

      • UR BETTER XO

        SIGH OF RELIEF !

  9. Hey hey Soma … finally making my rounds. Gotta love the story with laughs! Made me think of the recent Russian border guards I encountered … and they typically don’t smile.

    • now you have to tell me why you met Russian border guards…and no dont give me a straight story .i wont take it.
      it has to do something with weapons,drugs,nuclear short a bond movie..tell me more 🙂

  10. …and whatever smuggling you do…NEVER do it during World Cup Soccer…security has to be tight as we simply cannot allow or cope with soccer hooligans!

    We can let in murderers, human traffickers, gun smugglers, drug smugglers, gangsters, money launderers, terrorists…even politcians.

  11. All i am saying —- is that you better not disappear again ……….Love u Sistah Soma Star xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  12. Haha, this guy is ridiculous. It’s been too long Soma. Hope you are well!

  13. Somaa,

    The one is for you (One Lovely Blog Award). However, you do not have to follow the rules if you don’t wish to. They have just been put for formality. This is just to let you know that you are awesome 🙂 To let you know that I smile, I laugh and I thoroughly enjoy reading every single post of yours 🙂 Wish you could write ek har din.. Hahaa, too much to ask for eh?? Anyway, enjoy the award.. lots of love

  14. Hey I hope that you will be back
    and posting something soon Soma 🙂
    I keep calling in but you’re not here
    at the moment… Hmm must be having
    a BBQ on Fraz Island or something? 😉

    Hurry Back Kiddo 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

  15. lmho…you never cease to make me smile. I’d love to watch documentaries with you! 🙂

  16. Hello! I wish sunny, nice weekend!

  17. PS, Soma,
    You will note that no one rates comments here. So the “Rate This” line above each comment is just cluttery. Besides – why do we want a thumbs up or down on comments?

    Do disable that, go to:

    Dashboard/Settings/Ratings/ Comment tab/ unclick “Enable for comments”

  18. Wow, any of you ever do anything stupid and are just thankful you were never caught? Is the poison of smug self-righteousness not a good competitor with foolishness?

    I, for one, have done things equal stupid as this — and similar. I am fortunate to enjoy a life now with my children. But how long will fortune smile — I do not know and I do not boast.

    PS, Soma, I forgot if I already told you — it doesn’t seem we can “Follow comments” by e-mail. Perhaps that is why your comment thread seems to lack any dialogue. With all your fine readers, adding the option to follow comments could improve conversation on your threads.

    Go to your Dashboard/Settings/Discussion/ (scroll down to:)”Show a ‘follow comments’ option in the comment form”. Check that box

  19. Sorry I’m late, Soma Dear…I’ve been sick, then had family visiting…Again, you mastered another entertaining story with lessons to be learned, as well! But it’s too bad he didn’t learn anything from his experience! Hope you’re well and happy, Soma, and have a wonderful weekend! Hugs! xo

  20. Funny and stupid people. Looks like they seem to think they can fool anybody, but see what happened in the end.
    Good story with great tips 🙂

  21. I’m glad to know these tricks of the trade in case I consider a different career path.

  22. How did i miss this one Soma Star ?????????
    i was writing about You and the Unconitionals or something 🙂 lol Big smile xo
    just dropping off some love my sweet
    and ps ——————
    why oh why are u so many hours away ?
    Big Hugs and what time is it over there xo
    love love and more

    • seriously the least God could have done was to put us in same time zone…
      Am back and ging to stalk you big time 🙂
      love n hugs :0

      • !!!!!!! YOU ARE BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        GEESH –
        🙂 so glad …….
        the time zone thing – YEAH AGREED 🙂
        c’mon right 🙂 xx
        so glad you are back ….
        i was trying to stalk you – LOL 🙂
        i am not a very good stalker though ——– 🙂
        Soooooo Happy u are back x 10000000000
        i wrote you
        i yelled at the computer ! lol
        WHERE IS SOMA ?
        and Now you are here
        🙂 XX
        LOVE U SISTA X

  23. Pingback: back to the beginning…part 4, the magician….. « Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate….Ivonne's Journey

  24. Ha Ha nice post with a good message. Thanks.

  25. Dumb people NEVER cease to astound me!

  26. Now he will be juggling something else while he sits in prison.

  27. If he was paying attention to those five points that you brought up, I guess he would have realized luck was not on his side this time and should have given the whole thing up. But, no he pressed his luck, and got pressed himself.

    • Binky you said it…people should really pay attention to the card readers and blessings from all the sources..and not blame smuggling for their downfall cos smggling is a good profession

  28. It sounds like all the signs were there, but he didn’t pay attention!

  29. Good advice. I would never smuggle hash.

  30. So he had Hash in the Ass
    and is now without the Cash…

    This is the price for juggling and smuggling
    and sooooo he did the crime and now he will
    be doing the time…

    And of course there is
    nobody to blame but himself…

    Have a great Monday Soma 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

  31. Hahahaha! Serve him right! Nice advice by the way, for all those wannabe smugglers. Make sure RAW and Interpol dont get to you as well 😀

  32. Why is this so expensive? Do you know a guy shat this drug out of his butt to get it into this country? hahah

  33. Can we call him ‘naive’ — most said dumb but that’s pretty harsh ;)…. Love your article Soma — lessons to be learned indeed!! Much Love dear friend, and have a lovely weekend! ~Robyn

    • He is stupid Specially the way he was joking when narrating his story and at one point he talked about jail as if he was setting up great example doing the jail term …lessons to be learned no doubt
      Thanks Robyn 🙂
      hugs 🙂

  34. Poor guy… Who gave him the idea that there would be an honour system in customs? That if he fessed up they would say, “That a boy. Let’s take it easy on you ’cause you’re kind of honest.” Thanks for this odd one, Soma 🙂

    • ha he did think he will get away with minimum sentence now that he confessed to having more…but when you have done so much wrong a little truth wont help 🙂
      Thanks Kathryn

  35. I wonder if he could sue the hotel manager?

  36. Had some great hash from Morocco 40 years ago.

  37. Oh my what a dummy lol…love the way you wrote this…i sure hope all future smugglers get to read this :). Enjoyed this much Soma

    • i hope the customs are more strict in their checking cos every time i see these programmes i am amazed how easily criminals all over get away with so much..
      Thanks Boomie 🙂

  38. Ciekawa historia….very nice day Soma

  39. Well, what is he but a dummy. We have a saying ‘fast cash goes fast’. He didn’t plan well and he didn’t do well, now he must pay for his choices, oh well.

    You presented this in a light way Soma, but you know in a way it is terribly sad. His child will grow up without a father. He made terrible choices and now another child will grow up without likely in poverty, likely struggling, because some adult did the wrong thing. So sad.

    • what really pissed me off was the way he was joking around and showing hiw easy it is to smuggle and get away..which is but they should have highlighted more on his jail term which would discourage the aspiring ones..

  40. “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits” (Albert Einstein)

    I love the way you writing stories… 😉

  41. Love the story Soma! You are right, how stupid can some people be! Very funny, but not for him…hei snow going to do some serious time! Have a wonderful weekend!

  42. I guess if it weren’t for his bad luck, he’d have no luck at all.
    Thank you for sharing this funny story, Soma! Hugs xx

  43. Wel well wellll funny, we have a program on tv that comes which shows such incidents how silly things some theifs or cheats do,

    I also believe why change a tried and tested way, if he had bad stomach he shud have delayed going.. lure of quick buck catches up some day..

    • You cant fool the system life long and greed makes you do stupid things and huge mistakes
      What he did was stupid enough but Bikram he was behaving as if he had done great favours to nations buy going to jail…specially the way he was joking really pissed me off

  44. Lousy attempt at trying to save face. Things would’ve worked out better had he *planned* things out, budget and all, for the family.
    If there is such a thing as luck, it couldn’t have lasted forever.
    Thanks for sharing this- ridiculously interesting and some pretty neat lessons learnt! 🙂

  45. Oh… that’s luck running out.
    Loved the way you wrote about it, Soma. But, doesn’t he look like the Hollywood actor William H Macy? May be Macy could do a film about it which could have a different end (like The Illusionist) that he does the magic and get out of the police custody or something. 😀 It seems the guy did everything stupid and wrong that can be done.

    • I was thinking he looked like Kevin Sorbo (who played Hercules) – in fact I thought it was for a moment and thought that was very sad that he’d resorted to juggling and smuggling hash.

      • Yeah… now that you have said that I think I can see the resemblance too. 😀
        But what you thought is funny. 🙂

    • and he seem to believe it was the absence of the fortune teller and the blessings from hotel owner that gave him away…big stupid dumb
      Thanks Manu 🙂


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