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Why aren’t we talking about Cockroaches?

I want to know. I really really do! why cats, why not cockroaches? Pages after pages filled with nothing but poems and essays and stories about cats, what’s with that?

Some people asked me if this was the reason I have been missing from blogosphere, why, yes, I was! So disturbed and depressed was I with the kind of shoddy treatment cockroaches have been getting  that I left this world. Out there in the space I met some really intelligent people who told me future belongs to cockroaches, not cats. They advised me to return to my planet and work on making the world cockroach friendly.

WORK BEGINS

DAY 1 BLOGGING ABOUT COCKROACHES. MY APT AND SHARP REPLIES TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE ABOUT CATS NOT BECAUSE THEY LOVED’EM BUT BECAUSE THEY WERE ANTI-COCKROACH HUMANS.

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1) Kittens can happen to anyone. ~Paul Gallico

Why Sir, so can cockroaches, what’s with this song and noise?

2)“I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.”

Edgar Allan Poe

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 something that has been here for millions of years, survived nuclear attacks,  living -procreating under your cabinets, behind the walls. You think it is gone, but a lil heat and damp, it re-surfaces. All these and much more and you still think Cats are mysterious?

ask the pesterminators what keeps them awake at nights, ask the scientists if they are sure the latest spray can get rid of roaches completely and they run and hide in a cabinet and howl like a mad wolf.

I wish I could scribble like cockroaches Mr. Poe!

3) “The only escape from the miseries of life are music and cats…”
Albert Schweitzer

oh pulheeese, no way. Go get some bagels. cockroaches are proof that you have food clothes, toothbrushes ,hair , fresh or decaying matter in possession. either this or you live in sewer, either way you have something!!

something= cockroaches=no miserable

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4) “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston S. Churchill

lol lol lol  Mr.Churchill you said Pigs. LOL ROFLLMAO. Am sure you meant Cockroaches

5) “Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat….
Mark Twain

ha ha ha yeah Mr. Twain cos we sure can make cockroaches our slaves

6) It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens.

~Cynthia E. Varnado

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7) There has never been a cat
Who couldn’t calm me down
By walking slowly
Past my chair.
~Rod McKuen

Well Mr. McKuen, There has never been a cockroach who couldn’t get me up By waking slowly Past my chair. what do you have to say about that huh?

PHEW!!

There I have proved each and every anti- cockroach person wrong. In fact before publishing this article I sent a copy of this excellent piece I created to all of writers mentioned ( yes all of them) and all of them have since apologised. They have realised their folly.

But what about you COMMON PEOPLE, when will you understand the power of coackroaches, or will you rather be unprepared and be treated a slave in a Cockroach World?

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Join now or be left behind with nothing but regrets and no entry to rock concerts, ever.

Hope with this post I have succeded in creating awareness about THE MIGHTY, SUPREMELY TALENTED, MYSTERIOUS COCKROACHES.

(if not, do write so that I can repost it till you get it.)

Thanks and happy HOLI

About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

34 responses »

  1. Well, well. I am writing about cockroaches. Well. I wrote one story. Do read it for the love of cockroaches (LOL) : https://arpitaapramanick.wordpress.com/2015/06/13/cockroaches-and-chickens-a-short-story/

    Reply
  2. Glad to see your creative humour on the screen. 😀 Take care.

    Initially I thought the answer to the title was …. ” because we are tired of self serving politicians and their corporate buddies”.

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  3. Now you can see how much we all were missing you so keep writing dear Soma.

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  4. This is an absolutely mind blowing and fantastic take, it made me smile Soma:)

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  5. Oh welcome back to our planet. The UN has been in shut down waiting for you to come back to us from that enlightened world and lead us in the struggle against cats. Its more than a racial thing. This has all the makings of a conspiracy. The cats of the world communicate across artificial boundaries and they control the world money supply and manipulate the various political entities. Ah, but there is a growing militancy among the world’s cockroach populations who have been enslaved by the Cat Templar Society from the beginning. They have scientists of their own who’ve slowly been developing stealth mice. Once ingested the cats will be remotely controlled and reduced to the slavery they’ve inflicted on cockroaches since time began. They will be remotely controlled from Bangalore with control centres hidden deep behind each call centre servicing the world. You’ve returned just in time to provide encouragement and leadership. Here’s my one rupee joining fee.

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  6. Cats are always trying to steal the limelight, but that’s because they’re afraid of the power that the cockroach has. In sheer numbers, they could overtake us all a million times over. The Cockroach Alliance is probably deep underground at this very moment plotting our demise. It is a scary thought.

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  7. I’d say it had something to do with a lack of fur but rats have that and they are pretty universally reviled. Keep spreading the love of cockroaches. 🙂

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  8. What a woman! Only one I know who can stand to write about cockroaches in a positive fashion. For example:

    I think that is enough said.
    Scott

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  9. Oh what wonderful madness. I have missed this sooooo much! You are brilliant and much better than any cat ever could be x

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  10. I knew I missed you here, now I realize how much I missed you – and as usual you bring up a good point – and as usual so you are right, you amazing girl… 😀

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  11. What a come back Soma and that too with this superb piece on roaches. You gave ‘Karara Jawab’ to each cat lover beautifully. Cartoons are very good. In future when cockroaches will rule the world what will happen to people who eat them with salt and pepper? lol.

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    • Ha ha Ma yes those cockroach eaters will be so dead. They will be made to do dishes for ever and clean hallways too. Yes they deserve this harsh punishment. Also they will never get to taste salt and pepper ever again…

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  12. Roight’. Ahm’ gonna’ guess an’ say; it’s that the wee, tiny kitt-ies is fuzzy and soff’ an’ the wee bugaboos is crunchy and juicy. Also I should make mention of the undeniable fact that wee, tiny kitt-ies have cute wittle’ faces wit’ pretty wittle’ eyes and the much maligned Coo-caracha is a flippin’ UGLY BUG! Also, there’s a question of character. Smack that wee kitt-ie an’ see if ‘e don’t stand up on ‘is ‘ind legs; deliver a screech; a scratch; an’ n’en piss on your boots.

    So much as shine a dim light on the, BUG! and see ‘im run loite’ a scalded…um… loite’ a scared… um; well, you just watch ‘at creepy cri’-er scramble for the nearest ‘ole in the wall where ‘e can waller’ in whatever feces and funky food par’-icles ‘e has attached to ‘is-self. Only in the ‘ole in the wall does ‘e reveal ‘is real self. A cowardly gangly fing’ wit’ no back-bone. Idin’ is-self; avoidin’ contact wit’ us at all cost for fear that we might not see the desperate survivor but only the crunchy coward with the “Oh-so-juicy” innards.

    Ah’m just sayin’ is all.

    O’course it could be because the Cockroach is tasty and good wit’ salt and vinegar when fried in peanut oil.

    Just sayin’

    Reply
    • Ouwwwwwww that hurt. 😀
      What with that no backbone thingie comment Sir? So no mentions for non vertebrates!!, OMG
      You got a strong point there but me gotta to stand with the roaches. And fight for their place in literature.
      Thanks for the fun comment. Have a great day 🙂

      Reply
  13. Wowow look who is here.. good to see a post here its been ages..

    And they say when everything goes away it will be the cockroach that will survive..and yet nothing about cockroaches.

    Good you took the initiative. .Following you now for sure..

    Reply

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