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Category Archives: Autism

Autism- Let’s have Fun

2nd April is World Autism Awareness Day. I will be wearing Blue, talking about it, helping people understand Myths and Facts surrounding Autism.
  • eg- Moms who watch horror movies during their pregnancy give birth to Autistic kids–hell no, that will only make the kid see dead people!
  • Autistic kids are born to parents who believe in Alien invasions, ughh, no again. They will have a kid born with tin foil covering the head…… get the point.
I have always believed if you are not having fun you are not doing it right. No matter what you do, do it with all your heart and you will enjoy the journey. An anxious worried parent cannot raise a happy child.
The mantra is fun and Honesty. be crazy, be love, be structured, be mess, be understanding, be considerate, give space to your kid, believe in giving not just 2nd or 3rd but 1000 chances, one day success- next day what happened- no problem let’s start again!
There is no one way to live with autism, what works for you may or may not help others, let’s not blindly follow others and let’s not force others to follow our ways.
no medicines unless 100% sure of its origin and effects.
Well that’s that now let’s have fun.
Inside the head of an autism Mom there is a weird ninja fun zone, but she isn’t born with it, this kind of madness and insanity takes unlearning and learning 100,000 times.  But once you reach this madness its fun not just for the parent but also the kid.
 Human brain has two sides, left and right and I have a third one, which keeps shifting its position and makes me write weird posts and make strange cartoons and doodles. It is called floating craziness, can be seen in mirror and it has its own shadow too and it helps me understand Autism.
With help of this third part of brain I made some fun Autism Doodles and cartoons, hope you enjoy.
What is autism
alien spider pact
race in autism land
love in air
raccoon says
angel goth
autism land1
Now a fun question
1) An animal who is Leopard by day and rabbit by night.
2) A rabbit wearing leopard print.
3) A leopard who loves carrots.
4) A crocodile with funky name
do not copy

Autism – The Staring Strangers


Just imagine a day when You go out to a nearby store to buy grocery and wherever you go, eyes follow you, you can feel those eyes on you, looking at you, almost as if waiting for you to make a mistake and prove them right,  talking in a hush-hush voice, but you know it’s all about you, some stares of pity, some of disgust.

you leave the store go to a restaurant to eat,  order something and look forward to enjoying a great meal,trying to shrug off that eerie feeling in the shop earlier but the restaurant is no different, people are eating and their conversation has shifted from whatever they were discussing to you, they are looking at you the way kids look at a new animal in a zoo, talk about you watch your every move as if this is the first time they have seen a human eating..

Rest of the day no matter where you go what you do eyes follow you,and so do whispers….


This is a day in the life of most autistic kids and everyday of their lives they will have to live with these stares ..

and it wont change if you don’t,

you can’t change if your thinking doesn’t,

your thinking wont change if you do not educate yourself ..

Learn about people around you,learn how to live in a society where different people will live, some will be Autistic, some dyslexic, some both, mentally and/or  physically different from the “normal people”

Know that staring at some one makes them feel extremely uncomfortable, no matter what they say, it is rude..if you can’t care then don’t, but do not stare at people just cos they are different from you…


It is hard not to stare at things different but you have to know when to move on..for a parent trying to calm down their kid having a meltdown is not an easy task, they need all the space they can get at that moment, unsolicited advices from people who have no idea, telling them about disciplining kids is not going to help , in fact it will make the situation much worse fo the kid and the parents. Best help is to clear the area for a while and give them a breathing space and if you happen to be a special educator then you know what you have to do…

I am a mother of a lovely 13 year of girl with autism, she can pick up any tune on piano just by listening to it once, she is extremely computer savvy, she is a good singer and dancer and she is a very loving caring girl, she is all these and more and she is very sensitive… ….

she knows it when people are making fun of her, talking about her, laughing at her or staring  and all these things  upset her and when she is upset she never performs, never shows what she can do ..withdraws into a shell.

There are times when she gets irritated, like by the buzzing sound (bees or welding) or loud noise or a fight or when she is trying to communicate but no one around her is able to understand her and she cries and pushes anyone who tries to hug her…She is not being Rude, this is her asking for help, telling you something is bothering her a lot..

There are hundreds of kids like her , you may know one.

Next time you get to meet someone like my daughter in a small store, a restaurant or a shopping mall, different from ‘normal’ kids, let them be, you didn’t come all the way to this shop to stare at the kid, did you?

Different is not necessarily bad, sometimes we are scared of different just because we don’t know anything about it and when we get to know it we are surprised cos all of a sudden ‘the change,  the different’ is  not scary anymore. is evolving and so are traits in humans..some for good and  some may not be great but they are what they are..some of the rarely found traits or conditions are now seen more…what was 1 in 200 a few years back is now around 1 in 88….

This is Today,This is Future with a lot of things way different from when you were a kid ..

This is Life today, there will be more changes,  more  different tomorrow…

A beautiful story By Autumn, a must read-

The Purple Gummy Bear

(please share)

Finger Muddies

wrapped in  my sari
A face painted with lipstick
smiling little angel
knocked on my door
and said
Ma…. model
that of course she was
I looked at her and smiled 
and told her you are the best
she giggled,pointed at my face and said
liptip (lipstick)
and we both looked super hot
on that beautiful mischievous afternoon

Bonita holi colours(left) and lipstick all over her face(right)

and then one afternoon she came all proud
grass in her hair
fingers dipped specially in mud
which she called finger muddies
toes brown green grunge
covered in  grass and mud pack
and she said
mummy look
i painted earth on my frock
i hugged my daughter and said
aint this the best painting in the world 🙂
and she said i can paint this on you too
i have more
and i smiled and said
really i cant wait to see
what’s in store
oh the earth print on both of us
scared the neighbours
earned some frowns
and some cute little giggles
such are my afternoon delights
[This poem is about my daughter (BONITA)when she was a little kid and the fun crazy afternoons we used to have. There are things only a mom and daughter share, what a blessing it is to have a daughter]
Today-April 2nd is Autism Awareness day. I was brainstorming how to reach to other parents and then got an idea from my friend Autumns’s todays post, where she wrote about how time flies and our little angels grow up and before we can say a proper bye they are far away from the nest.
And then wrote the above poem on all the fun afternoons we used to have 🙂
I remembered the early days when we were struggling to break the barrier between us and our daughter. She didn’t speak properly ..that is in sentences or understood small instructions till she was 8-9. Early on we realised we were doing it all wrong and instead of books started listening to our hearts.
We were trying to teach our daughter our ways without understanding or knowing where she was……that is when the whole journey of autism,understanding,playing and creating new exciting possibilities, customising instructions to make it easy and fun for our daughter began.
If you have read one of my posts Zuckles,Zonita zand Zee you will know We( Bonita and me) are two crazy people growing up and learning the skills to live in this insane world and so far we have done pretty good job. 🙂
I am no “Guru” on Autism but would definitely like to share one thing i have learnt in all these years…know your child and become one if needed and see how easy parenting becomes. It is important to instill good values in your child through your work and words.
It is important to teach discipline too but do you really know the PERSON you are trying to mould or discipline??

Zuckles,Zonita Zand Zee

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we  forget that he is someone today.  ~Stacia Tauscher

I know the title of the post is self-explanatory but want to share more.

When my daughter was 2-year-old we noticed the only way she would play with anything and everything was to line them up …no matter what she had, cars, toys, shoes…. They all would fall in same line and then the game would end. She never used to play like other kids…this was when we started noticing other things and then came to know about her Autism…we were told most of the autistic kids don’t or can’t pretend play….you know how we would take a comb or a pencil box and act as if it were a phone or a microphone and talk.

Most of them( Autistic kids) will have no idea what to do with a car or a doll ….And we were told by the doctors and special educators to teach Bonita pretend play…..that is wroom with a car,or dressing up a doll,make up,pretending to be doctor,or teacher etc…and age appropriate plays and language.

And this is how our journey to Zonita began.

[I was quite a naughty kid and I always thought Oh all these brilliant naughty ideas and no one to share with….and look at Gods mysterious ways…he must have really loved my naughtiness for now he wanted my daughter to learn them and that too from one of the best in the business.]

Our pretend play sessions were full of mischief and laughter (otherwise what is the point) like this one time we pretended there was water in the room and we swam across room and fought with crocodiles and a snake.

Oh there were so many things we did…One Day I told her we both have to talk loud as we are in a market and there is too much noise all around, And then next time we whispered as we were in jungle surrounded by dinosaurs

We still do a lot of things Crazy and fun.

One day we decided we will only talk in NATO phonetic Alphabets….Oh! that was tough and we could not continue it for more than half an hour ,For just to say “Bonita finish your food” meant

Bravo Oscar November IndiaTango Alpha Foxtrot India November IndiaSierra Hotel Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Oscar Oscar Delta

That was tough and we laughed more than we talked every time some big sentence came up

Anyways the point of all these were to introduce her to endless possibilities…having fun with whatever we had, teaching her to be naughty too….so in all these crazy moments we decided we will have alphabet days.

So on a B day every word would start with B

Bonita finish your food would be Bonita binish bour bood and then she would say bes bommy

One of the Tuesday afternoon after picking her from the gate where the school van drops off all the kids,we were in the lift and having this ‘B’ routine, there was one more kid in the lift.He must have enjoyed it a lot cos he told me Bauntie boo bar bo bunny

To which I said- Bank bou.Bi bam blad bou biked bit

He laughed and said this is fun I have to tell this to my friends

I asked him his name and he said I don’t like my name. That… that was the point I fell in love with his cute little kid…..You See I don’t like my name too ( It’s a long story will tell you some other day, Hope my parents are reading this ). So I told him I will call him chuckles cos I love the way he laughs. He laughed and agreed( and his names keeps changing Zuckles on a Zday,Nuckles on Nday)

Now I have to mention here,Even though we live in the same building Chuckles and I don’t meet that often due to different school timings

So next time we met it was a Z day and he joined in

Zello Zonita,he said

Bonita was happy to have a new Zriend and she said Zello Zuckles

Bonita told him she didn’t like one of her teachers and zuckles said that was normal and so on

And yesterday all of a sudden zuckles showed up at my door with his friends and asked me what day was it I said it was Zday and he grinned and said he loved Z

So all of us spoke about anything and everything in Z they laughed and rolled on floor.And told me they will have these funny days when they play.

Then one of the kids who was 6 years old said he hated math’s( he said Zi zate Zaths)….Everyone understood and sympathized

Then he asked me auntie can’t we live without learning math!

What??? there was a pin drop silent and all of them were looking at me And I was desperately trying to think of something clever.I said I didn’t like maths at all ( I really don’t) but some things in life you must learn, like riding a cycle…or learning how to swim…

How can math be like cycle zuckles asked?

Well, I told when you grow up you may  or may not need to ride a cycle but if you learn riding one you will learn how to balance and this will come handy in other things too…Similarly when you grow up you may not have to solve the same questions you solve now….But plus minus, multiplication, division, fractions…are the basic math which you will need in your day-to-day life.

So they all decided they will learn basic math ( atleast)except for one kid who loved math


So zuckles and zis zriends zaid zeir zoodzyes zand zent zaway

What a day we had…

Oh before I go… Today is Nday

No nave na neautiful nay nall nof nou nand Nake nare 🙂

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