RSS Feed

Category Archives: My Poetry

Greatest Story ever told is on another shelf

Peter Cameron once wrote that one man’s nonsense is another man’s sense. God forbid if someday someone ever even in the tiniest possible way understood the nonsense I weave. That day my friends is not one I would like to see. That day all the dinosaurs and dodos will disappear from the face of earth for good and no one, not ever Steven Spielberg will be able to bring them back even on screen. 
Anyways so I was reading Zombie Haikus by Ryan Mecum. Let me take a moment here to tell you guys about Ryan Mecum. He is God of fun haikus and poems. Be it Zombies or Vampires or Werewolves, Ryan has written about all of them. like check these out-
“Those were not vampires.
If sunlight makes you sparkle,
you’re a unicorn.”
“Blood is really warm,
it’s like drinking hot chocolate
but with more screaming.” 
Haan how cool is that? Click these links to read more and you will be so happy that may be you will adopt a vampire or a zombie today. 
Twitter-Mecum Haiku
so as I was saying I was reading Zombie Haikus and was so horribly terribly inspired that I wrote a poem on Zombies ( cos I don’t know how to write a haiku)  which is Dark and Gory and deadly and deep and horrible and everything that is bad but in a good sort of way.
 There was once a zombie
who married for treats,
then the treats disappeared
and all that was left was gift wraps
and empty boxes
Then he was shot in a grocery store
cos people thought he was going to eat them
and why a zombie would want to buy bleach
they couldn’t understand
But Zombies don’t die unless shot at head
the grocery store security guy didn’t know that
so the zombie kept getting up and shot
again and again and a few times more
it was like a big, giant story of
death and re birth all happening
so fast and so may a times
and the security guy was in tears
crying why don’t you die
you horrible thing with a bottle of bleach
All this was so funny in a horrible sort of way


copyright Somkritya ( who else)

Happy weekend ya all 🙂

Merino’s Bahh

Hello fellow Earthlings. How are you people doing, still pushing each other to get in the lift first or may be fighting for/over  some piece of land! Well good for you, keep up the fight because you are clearly going to live forever.
Me!! umm not so, cos I know I will be going back to my home planet  Zazaburra soon, where no one is born and no one dies, we are just a planet full of small Glow worms spreading light through our bums and singing the bumbum glee songs.
bumbum glee bumbum glee
my bum is twinkling
oh can’t you see
oh can’t you see
why can’t you see
I am a bumbum glee……oh such a beautiful song
More about me and the song in some other post,some other day when it is not raining so much and I can think clearly without having spiders, snakes and zombies taking refuge under my bed and making all kinds of noise.
For today’s post I would like all of you to meet Merino, my new pet cartoon sheep. Why Cartoon, do you ask?
Well for one I live in this huge small building and that I know is no place to raise a real Sheep and second I heard Merino is a blogger. Tell me friends, is there anything better than a cartoon sheep who blogs!!!
And I admit ( with sheepish grin) having a pet minus the feeding, cleaning after, sounded so heavenly when I adopted Merino.
 You see I am not a potted plant kind of person. I have tried many a times but failed miserably every time to keep the plants green and/or alive. And one of my friends who works at the Hilbilitoopoo state something asylum told me Meds, Straitjackets and the padded white rooms are keeping me from loving plants and hence I should not be keeping a pet. And yet I found a pet to pamper in this huge small building, isn’t it incredible!
Me and Merino
Back to Merino, as I told you earlier, he is a blogger.
He named his blog ‘The Bleating Log’
( Merino somehow got this idea that BLOG is short for Bleating Log and nothing I said could convince him otherwise)
Today I am sharing one of his poems, hope you like the poem and encourage Merino to write more 🙂
~Unraveling at seams~
I  had a bad dream last night
I dreamt that I was beautiful
crimped and elastic staples
lovely Kemp, beautiful fleece
and then came those nasty things
nasty things called human beings
they reared me
they sheared me
and took all my wool away
now I look weird
now I look weird
Those clothes, those sweaters
they are all me
they are all me
and I want discount from Macy’s
Unraveling at seems

Unraveling at seams

~thank you
Copyright 2013@BleatingLog
and before I leave you wondering about twinkling bums picturing me and the awesomeness that will be, let me tell you Merino is a huge fan of Stuart Art. There is nothing STU can’t do, says Merino and here is what Stu had to say about Merino’s poem-

The Bleating Log

Met a leaping dog

On his way to herd

‘Creak’ said the log

For it had no mouth

And the dog simply barked

Which meant ‘Merde!’

It was a French dog.

~Stuart Young~

Are you Shifting ?

Those who believe in Soul mates
Come, come inside
I am happy to have found you
let’s have some tea, let’s talk
for you and I will be great friends.
I  know, I just know
and to those who don’t  believe in this magic
or any such matter at all
all I will say now is
There is, there is  my darling
such a beautiful thing called soul mate,
some find them in their spouses,
some in their friends
and some in their victims….
(waiting to be relieved of their painful miserable lives)

She was excited, had all the right reasons to be – New job, great perks, beach front house. Oh what a lovely start of this young life. And then she met him.

As the door bell rang Sara rushed in to open the door, aah she was relieved to see him, the movers and packers guy finally!

She took him for a quick tour of her house explaining how she wanted her things to be packed and shifted, openly flaunting how neat clean and organized everything was, and a bit irritated at how he silently kept taking notes.

He started with his job as focused and as efficient as always. It took him half an hour to pack her with care in a body bag and keep it in his large van.

First packet done, he ticked a box on his note.

He regretted not having enough time to explain the why to her, but he knew she wouldn’t have understood! She wouldn’t, the innumerable times he got canned for being messy….

She had to leave, he had to help her…

His superbly organized soul mate from his beautiful messy world.


Protected by Copyscape Web Plagiarism Tool

Horn OK Please, cos Honking is fun!

Today is HONK COS YOU ARE COOL DAY. If you are someone who is in love with their car ( or truck or whatever) horns, who loves to keep honking no matter what the situation is, this is the day for you.
Go out honk your town in pain red, get your vehicle fitted with the latest loudest Air horn this world has ever heard of, but don’t just stop there, honk like there is no tomorrow or existence of the entire human race depends on how loud you can be on roads. In short be a –
[Zude = Dude + Cooler + Zappier
Zappier= Happier + yo]
   Of course there are people who will think you are a menace, but what do they know and do we really give a damn what others think ! And to those people who think you are a stupid, biggest jerk ever seen on roads and keep wondering who the hell gave you a drivers license, I will say only this and as I say, know that there  is some air quote happening  around- “whoa”
I have collected some Sayings, News paper headlines and Excerpts from T.V shows which say it loud and clear that ‘I HONK THEREFORE I AM’
cool graph
There is an old saying in Webdings-
All those who honk like maniacs on loose will be dumped in hell and made to eat rotten cabbage four times a day. (Although the connection between rotten cabbage and punishing honking maniacs is not known but the ill effects of eating rotten cabbage most definitely are.)
Now some honk related news that made it to the headlines in all the leading news papers this year
Those who see dead people can also see people who honk like crazy – Times
Those who see only good and positive and meditate to elevate say that the more you honk, closer you get to the awesome seats in heaven.- The Times
(This I believe is true, has to be, why else would someone honk when the signal is red, or on a deserted road or even in a basement car parking! Think about it, who are these people honking at in the basement parking ! unless their car is an alien communicating with its species dressed up as other vehicles, in that case Your highness kindly excuse my ignorance.)
From the food shows, quotes of some celebrity chefs-
.”….And while we are at praising or criticising honking( depending on which side popular people are) there are some cocktails like Honk Honk,Honka doo, Honky Donky etc which are truly incredible and should be banned.. “- Ataa Maajhi Satakli
“….then there is Honk Tikka masala and Honk In Rice which no one should eat till one knows Honk  is a vegetable or meat and in case of later what kind of meat is being used…you %%$##&** shit you  garbage ^%#@ you are a fish piss- Gordon Ramsey
Your City Guide published the following in their April 2013 booklet-
“..and while we are at this topic of honking and related stuff I want to request people who dream, sing and dance honk, not to spit or urinate in open till we are sure how much of information makes it’s way to your brains.”
Well have to admit, never expected so much hooplahoo about honking in News papers and T.V shows but as I always say-
” someone is going to talk about it, much sooner than you expected”  ( this one day will be the most used quote)
what if i told ya
Oh and I wrote this incredibly amazing rocking song on Honking which will make you a proud Honker.
                              I have named  it ‘Flaunt your Honk’
Honk your way to work ( why do you work again?)
Honk your way to home ( no need but hey you gotta sleep)
Honk in a parking lot ( why not cars are people too!)
Honk if you are driving all alone ( like that ever happens …ha)
HonkHonk cos you own this world
HonkHonk cos you are such a Dude
HonkHonk cos there is no one like you
HonkHonk cos you are in the mood
Honk  loud in a traffic jam ( wth)
Honk on a deserted road ( like you are disturbing ghosts now )
Honk to the tune of a song ( cos you have an art)
Honk cos you ain’t a toad ( um hmm)
HonkHonk cos you are rich
HonkHonk cos your dad got  cash
HonkHonk cos you own the law
HonkHonk cos rash is in fash.
You were born with nothing ( what’s it to anyone i ask)
You came in this world alone( yeah so what)
But now you got cash, house and cars ()
HonkHonk and let the world know ( sure wouda)
honk dance
( seriously!!!! you are going to copy this!!!)
As I said earlier some one is going to talk about it sooner, soooner did it happen. Today Stuart from THE STUART TIMES reported the Following,all i have to say to this is  and i air quote it _ “I knew It”
Honking, honking all day long
Why, cos I like this honking song.
Honk in the day time
And night time too
Honk to the pedestrians
And other drivers too.
I used to think that honking was crass
A thing to be done
By a stupid dumbass
But now I know that honking is cool
I’ll ask for it to be taught in school.
%d bloggers like this: