Autism – The Staring Strangers

Just imagine a day when You go out to a nearby store to buy grocery and wherever you go, eyes follow you, you can feel those eyes on you, looking at you, almost as if waiting for you to make a mistake and prove them right,  talking in a hush-hush voice, but you know it’s all about you, some stares of pity, some of disgust.

you leave the store go to a restaurant to eat,  order something and look forward to enjoying a great meal,trying to shrug off that eerie feeling in the shop earlier but the restaurant is no different, people are eating and their conversation has shifted from whatever they were discussing to you, they are looking at you the way kids look at a new animal in a zoo, talk about you watch your every move as if this is the first time they have seen a human eating..

Rest of the day no matter where you go what you do eyes follow you,and so do whispers….

HOW WAS IT ?

This is a day in the life of most autistic kids and everyday of their lives they will have to live with these stares ..

and it wont change if you don’t,

you can’t change if your thinking doesn’t,

your thinking wont change if you do not educate yourself ..

Learn about people around you,learn how to live in a society where different people will live, some will be Autistic, some dyslexic, some both, mentally and/or  physically different from the “normal people”

Know that staring at some one makes them feel extremely uncomfortable, no matter what they say, it is rude..if you can’t care then don’t, but do not stare at people just cos they are different from you…

STARING IS NOT THERAPY,STARING DOES NOT HEAL OR CURE THEM. STARING IS NOT HELPING.

It is hard not to stare at things different but you have to know when to move on..for a parent trying to calm down their kid having a meltdown is not an easy task, they need all the space they can get at that moment, unsolicited advices from people who have no idea, telling them about disciplining kids is not going to help , in fact it will make the situation much worse fo the kid and the parents. Best help is to clear the area for a while and give them a breathing space and if you happen to be a special educator then you know what you have to do…

I am a mother of a lovely 13 year of girl with autism, she can pick up any tune on piano just by listening to it once, she is extremely computer savvy, she is a good singer and dancer and she is a very loving caring girl, she is all these and more and she is very sensitive… ….

she knows it when people are making fun of her, talking about her, laughing at her or staring  and all these things  upset her and when she is upset she never performs, never shows what she can do ..withdraws into a shell.

There are times when she gets irritated, like by the buzzing sound (bees or welding) or loud noise or a fight or when she is trying to communicate but no one around her is able to understand her and she cries and pushes anyone who tries to hug her…She is not being Rude, this is her asking for help, telling you something is bothering her a lot..

There are hundreds of kids like her , you may know one.

Next time you get to meet someone like my daughter in a small store, a restaurant or a shopping mall, different from ‘normal’ kids, let them be, you didn’t come all the way to this shop to stare at the kid, did you?

Different is not necessarily bad, sometimes we are scared of different just because we don’t know anything about it and when we get to know it we are surprised cos all of a sudden ‘the change,  the different’ is  not scary anymore. ..world is evolving and so are traits in humans..some for good and  some may not be great but they are what they are..some of the rarely found traits or conditions are now seen more…what was 1 in 200 a few years back is now around 1 in 88….

This is Today,This is Future with a lot of things way different from when you were a kid ..

This is Life today, there will be more changes,  more  different tomorrow…

A beautiful story By Autumn, a must read-

The Purple Gummy Bear

(please share)