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A dead man is always wrong

When asked about the recent death
of a poor farmer, the minister frowned

He had just returned from a trip
abroad and he didn’t like this sound

“I think it is politically
motivated”, said the minister

“I smell conspiracy, this looks suspiciously
sinister

Our state has been suffering from
drought and I wanted to bring in some cheer

That’s the reason I went abroad
to find out about some good kind of beer.”

The journalist was confused and
asked how could alcohol help in drought, no one ever died from not having it

“That’s what you think”, said the
minister, “no one has died so far because it has been cheap, and well supplied,

And moreover, his reason of death is still unknown

Let the autopsy report come then
we will discuss”, minister added with a groan

“Sir he died of hunger”, said someone in the room

“What! How dare he, wasn’t he a
farmer?” said the minister bursting with fume

“But sir”, said a journalist, “he didn’t have
anything to eat,

And he also had a big family to feed,

When he could not control hunger any more he
drank a lot alcohol and ate some wild grass

He fell sick but could not be taken to the hospital in time

due to VIP movement and road blockage on the orders of top brass”

The surprised minister replied, “See I told you alcohol is cheaper than medicine

and food but why would someone eat grass with alcohol, how silly is that

And he was not only a bad farmer
but it was animal food he was eating, he was nothing but a rat

And if you had a choice tell me whom would you save

A VIP who was going to inaugurate
a shop or a farmer so eager to dig his own grave”

How profound said someone sarcastically

“What do you mean by found I was
never lost”, said the minister quite dramatically

Someone-“No sir I said profound”

Minister-“That’s what I am asking I was never lost to be found”

“No sir” said the minister’s aide, “if you consult thesaurus…”

“Why should I”, interrupted minister, “I don’t know anyone named thesaurus”

Minister’s aide-“No sir according to thesaurus …”

Minister- “I don’t care what Mr Thesaurus says”

Minister’s aide asked everyone to take a break and took him to a room

and said, “Sir, Thesaurus is a dictionary”

Minister-“Oh so now they operate
under this name and playing their dirty games”

Minister’s Aide- “Who sir, who plays dirty games?”

Minister- “The dictionaries working with these poor people

and helping them some education, health and god knows what”

Minister’s aide- “Sir they are
not dictionaries they are missionaries”

Minister- “Its same, missionaries
are dictionaries headed by thesaurus to sabotage our  government,

Soon I will set up a committee to
investigate their work and movement,

But before all this, that dead farmer will be punished for stealing animal food;

call PETA, it’s a case of animal cruelty,

And for that his family will have to pay a heavy penalty.”

Minister’s Aide- “But sir they
don’t have anything they really are poor”

Minister- “Why what about the land
they have, seize it and teach lesson to others that’s the only cure”

Minister’s aide- “ Sir we can’t call the PETA members,

the black bucks you killed last month has already caused lot of uproar”

Minister- “what! You mean to say that a prominent member of society

like me can’t even hunt for some deer’s and
tigers, what’s next, wild boars?”

Minister’s Aide-“Please sir it will only bring in bad press,

What if we provide them some seed and money to start farming?

Minister-“Well that can be arranged but the way

these poor farmers are dying is quite alarming,

First I need to find someone who
can be blamed for this death,

You are right Elections are near
I can’t afford to lose the people’s faith.”

Ministers aide- “Sir let us leave
the family and blame the one who is gone”

“You mean the dead farmer, asked
the Minister, “explain how that will be done.”

Minister’s aide- Sir let’s put the entire blame on him that

he didn’t wait for monsoon and left his family in dire state

And to top it up he tried to bring bad name to the party even after his death

We provided seed and power at a very minimal cost

That he could not get it timely was not our fault”

The whole controversy died and the minister was
applauded when he compensated the farmer’s family with money, land and seeds

And in return the farmer’s family took back the case

supported ministers claim that the culprit was farmer and his greed.

About Soma Mukherjee

I often say things that put me in a jam, Jams go well with Buttered Toasts, Toasts are great hosts, Ghosts not so much, Although they can dance, Not all dancers are serial killers, Serial killers do not use Body bags that often, body bags aren't leak proof, Proof is in the Pudding.

6 responses »

  1. Doing a roam through your archives and found this blog. Shri Thesaurus is obviously the guru of the Dalits and so the Minister would not have heard of him. They should have know that.

    Reply
  2. Vardhan Patankar

    Beautiful! enjoyed reading.

    Reply
  3. superb imagination and amazing flow!!

    Reply
  4. Very witty poem.You have ablity to play with words.

    Reply

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