A Dinner never Lies

I used to love reading and watching movies. my favourite genres were thrillers and horror. yes i had a dark side and every now and then i used to let it out and pamper its wants and then hide it behind this sweet romantic exterior.

But that was Yesterday,Today i am minutes away from being someones dinner and the table tells me its going to be quick and painless.

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They say if you watch horror movie once in a while

you will have nightmares full of gore and vile

but if ever you cross that 500 movie limit

devil himself will pay you a visit

Devils look or form you will never know

he may come as a thing,a person or a cow or a crow

and if this happens to be on friday the first

you will be on his menu quenching his thirst

~a very drunk man

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Yesterday

And i woke up to the shrill sound of kettle..

it took me a while to realise i hadn’t put anything on the stove.

what if there has been an intruder,of course what else can it be?

boy some gutsy fella making tea for himself like this.should i call police or surprise that fellow with the base-ball bat near….

i sat up and saw the Television still on and  a psycho, killing people while the kettle screams for attention…..ugh so there hasn’t been any intruder

and then came a voice from  the television,”so are you going to switch me off or do i re -incarnate as a human to do that”

“excuse me!” i said and realised i was talking to TV

“yeah like she will, come on get up you lazy bum”, said the sofa i was sitting on

..and i jumped up away from it..what the,…are these things talking NOW

“look at her expressions”, said the wall clock,”Hey Miss you have been watching horror movies back to back for last one week and this is shocking?”

“well now that you are up will you please clean me dry,said the vase,”cos these flowers have been inside me for past one week and now i look like hugging a dead body”

“well at least she uses you”, complained the ashtray,”i was picked up after heavy bargaining and not only she doesn’t smoke she doesn’t care to clean the dust off me.”

i was not over the shock yet but was able to breathe and move and i decided to go to the kitchen and ……..well maybe have some water and gather some sense of whatever i witnessed just now.

may be splashing my face with ice water will wake me up from this nightmare i am having

But as soon as i entered the kitchen the sink said “well hello! look who decided to pay us a visit, if it isn’t her Highness herself…to what do we owe such an honour mam”

i was stunned at the rude behaviour of the sink but before i could say anything or react further, it said “see the dishes here ,yeah the brown yellow ones,they were still white when you put them here and unless you are trying to see how long it takes for a dish to change colour kindly do wash them.i am done carrying so much weight and would love to breathe some fresh air.”

Oh there was so sarcasm in the air inside the house…

this cant be happening..what is this..am i dreaming,what kind of nightmare is this…

just then the fridge said,”she doesn’t seem well, what happened darling want some juice .”

“use me my expiry date is tomorrow!”, screamed the yogurt,

“hey me first”‘ said the pear ,

“guys chill she can’t eat everything.Miss if you ain’t gonna eat me kindly throw me in the garbage so that some poor guy can”, said the half eaten pizza from 3 days back.

i ran to the bedroom to change dress and go out for some fresh air when one of my black dresses said,” yeah use me you devil..abuse my body as much as you can but you can’t touch my soul..my soul fled the day it saw who was going to wear me.”

“tell me that”said the weighing scale

“hey i look gorgeous when i wear you “i told the dress ,”and i have lost oodles”

“OMG, said the mirror,”guys she really believes it”

I had tolerated enough and i had to get out so i decided to leave house in my pyjamas but as soon as i went out the hose pipe in the garden said,”err miss i don’t think you are ever going to use me, can you keep me in the garage, it gets dusty out here in summer”

Garbage can shouted hey miss,

the garage,the road,the toad,

the car,the tree from near and far

the birds flying up ,the snakes slithering down

the rats,the cats,the bats,the flying hats

they all spoke and shouted and screamed

no this can’t be i must be trapped in some bad dream

help me someone i cried and i ran

i ran and i ran and i ran

I ran and didn’t stop till i saw some familiar faces

and told them everything i just heard and Saw,they didnt look amused or shocked at all!

Mrs A advised cucumber juice

Mrs B said yoga

Mrs C told me to try looking up-side down

Mrs D suggested homeopathy

Mrs E shook her head and said i was too thin

please i begged tell me something which you know for sure will work,i am in deep trouble

Mrs F sneered and said well excuse us dear if you think your problems are big wait till you hear mine

“look at the bright side, you are still alive,arent you”, said a lamp post near by and smiled and that was when something hit my head and i blacked out…..

Artist-Sarbajeet Mukherjee