मन्त्रपुस्तिका ( book of spells)

अनाहूतः प्रविशति अपृष्टो बहु भाषते ।

अविश्वस्ते विश्वसिति मूढ़चेता नराधमः ॥२॥

(महाभारत उद्योगपर्व विदुरप्रजागर, अ० ३२)

Anahootah pravishati aprishto bahu bhasatey ।

 avishvaste vishvasiti moodhacheta naradhamah ॥

( Taken from mahabharata,this verse means A wretched fool can be recognized by the following three characteristics – going to places uninvited, talking too much when not asked, trusting the unworthy. – Vidura, Mahabharata)

Bonita( my daughter) was diagnosed with Autism when she was around 2-2.5 yrs of age and when people around came to know about it some of them just felt we needed black magic or spells to “cure” autism.

someone told us to feed her the leftovers of a talking bird or parrot, or boil some pulses in a special bowl and keep in the southwest corner of house.,or keep a key under her pillow this will unlock her brain…or go to this baba or chant that spell…..the list is long as this went on for a while.

If you know me you will also know I listened to all of them, went home laughed over it and never ever tried any of those stupid things.( also it is a good thing if you slowly distance yourself from these people if they keep pestering you with unsolicited crap)

I mean I love my kid I can and will do anything for her but there is a limit to everything and superstitions have never been and are not going to be part of my life…..

That was then but now when i remember those advices i can’t resist a chuckle.

The reason I wrote this post today is because I am planning to write book …it will be about spells and how they make your life easy breezy and smooth. Also there is no harm in giving back to the society what I got from it …but before i can start the work I thought of  sharing some of my brilliant ideas with all of you and get some expert advice on whether I am going on the right track or not…..

The three most important things to know before you start reading this post

1) never make fun of spells

2) do not share your magic candles with anyone unless you hate them

3) keep a diary of spell you have used, for second time users there is a discount of sorts

who can benefit from this book

those who hate hard work or any work for that matter.

those who want to become famous by doing nothing

those who want to become rich fast and easy

those who want to smuggle or rob and never get caught

THE SPELLS

EXAM SPELLS

who doesn’t hate exams…..I don’t know who started this evil ritual or  what was wrong with that guy and why we burden our kids with it year after year,but since nothing good in this field is going to happen in our life time, might as well study. OR

Before taking a test or exam, say the following:

Today is my test

tests are like pests

teachers are worse

studies are curse

Get me an A,

cos so I say

Earth, wind, fire, and sea

As I  Say, So Mote It Be!”

* It also helps to draw a pentagram on your test  paper and write your name and phone number

INTERVIEW SPELL

Not only you are jobless and your dog gives you THE LOOK , no one in your family has ever being filthy rich so what are your chances,..Isnt it heart breaking that none of the rich people leaving millions for charity or their kids, have ever known you, being related to you or even considered you a charity case!!!

for all you poor people ( literally and otherwise) this is the least I can do for you

Before going to the interview place three grains of salt ( and I mean 3 grains using electron microscope or whatever)in a handkerchief  and put it in your pocket. when the interview is going on, distract the  interviewer saying hey whats that and when he/ they look somewhere else throw the salt into  the north corner of the room. Within three days you will have the job.

* it also helps if before leaving the room you leave a chit for them with the following written on it and oh never forget to draw a pentagram

give me this job you fool

don’t make me lose my cool

if I don’t get this job

you are the first one I will rob

earth wind fire and sea

as I say so mote it be

SPELL TO LOSE WEIGHT

I know I know I can see that eager grin so let’s get on to it

Take a piece of parchment paper and draw a pentacle in the  center and write the following under it-

Refrigerator how dare thee

Stay Invisible To Me

While writing concentrate on yourself at the desired weight you have  in mind. Attach the paper to the fridge, until you reach your goal. oh and yes secure your fridge by drawing a circle of salt around it

 SPELL TO INCREASE YOUR BLOG TRAFFIC

This is something I have made after going through some 100,000 old magic spells

if this doesn’t work you are in wrong body,country or planet, but its not my fault at all.

First choose a background with four candles on four corners of you blog something like this

Do not use this candle cos i have cursed it and who ever uses it will never be able to rhyme again

Once you have done it choose a header with pentagram or make one, but it has to be of your hair colour, in case you do not have hair,go for hair grafting and then start blogging.

Do not forget to get a witch widget and flaunt it on the top right/left of the widget coloumn

and post this mantra in your about me section

“I the owner of this blog

all set to sacrifice 25 frogs

give me more followers oh spell

may those who follow me never go to hell

Earth, wind, fire, and sea

As I Say, So Mote It Be!”

Now here is the thing, where will you get 25 frogs from and even if you do how will you dispose them off.You can donate it to a lab, but frogs will be cursed and there are chances students dissecting them will fail.

you can always dump them in a pond or river,but since the frogs are cursed pond or river may dry.

so the best option is get 25 e-frogs and drop them in an e-well ( doesn’t that sounds great)

and in 25 minutes you blog shall receive hundreds and thousands of followers

people will praise you…

so what do you think, should I continue writing the book,do you think it will be a best seller(  i mean of course it will be, i am not going to write a book on spell and not write a spell for its success)

How many of you are going to buy this book?

Are there any special spells you would like to see in this book?

and can you also suggest a good tittle for the book?

Wish you all a great day, and if you are wondering how..take some rock salt add in dragon blood and throw it  on every one around 🙂